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I have like, more than 5 reasons to live, but i have no motivation to live at all. Everyday i fail to live properly and even sometimes when im not feeling sad i think about dying, and how i will do it. The actual thing that's stopping me from killing myself is my family and my pets. And the bad thing is i started thinking that if they all hated me then it would be easier to die. I dont have diagnosed depression, but the thought that i might have it lingers on my mind non stop. It seriously sucks. Im failing school, my parents will be disappointed in me and scold me again. Then they'll ask me what's wrong with me- i dont know! How am i supposed to know? I just suddenly became like this. I know others have it more rough than me, and i know what im feeling shouldn't be compared to others, but my mind tortures me and calls me an idiot whenever i start crying and feeling miserable. And my family members are either mad or fighting almost everyday. i just want peace..
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There's no such thing as living properly, you live your life how you want. I am a person who suffers from Bipolar Depression and it's not easy. It wasn't easy reaching out for help and telling people that there was something wrong. But the medication and the therapies truly saved my life. I opened up to the ones closest to me and their support was amazing. I learned that some days are going to be harder than others, but those days will pass. Living is so much better than dying, I too have thought countless times about dying. I even tried to. I'm glad I'm still here because I had no idea what was in store for me. the good AND the bad. Reach out, live life how YOU want. Stop trying to be someone you're not. Embrace you.
ReplyHey, been there. Talk to a person, need not be your family, can be your friend or relative or cousin. Talking really helps, letting things out of your head makes things easier. About school, try starting with the subjects you are more interested in, join a study group online, seeing others study gives you competitive spirit and pushes to work hard. Everyone has their own things going own, you posted because you are having it rough and I am commenting because maybe I am having things better not in all aspects but where you are having it rough. I know you're having it rough and it's okay, this too shall pass soon. Family fights go on, I suggest you to talk with them, tell them how you feel with all the things going around in the house, how it is effecting you, your studies, your mental health. I know depression is real thing and as you said you don't have diagnosed, let's leave it there, let's not think about it for now. Look at the brigtest things in your life right now. If you don't have, any go to google and search for places or think about places you always wanted to go to. What is on your bucket list? If you don't have one prepare one now it motivates you. What have you always wanted to learn? be it an interest, course or anything. The best way to distract your brain from all the negative thoughts is giving it work. It need not be anything productive, it should be able to keep your mind off for few days, and once you are out of that zone, you can slowly start working on academics. Or you can learn a new skill, academics are not the only things they see these days, skills are equally important. Learn a new skill or do anything that interests you. First 3-4 days you might want to give up, but don't. Think about where you will be once you finish what you have started. It's okay not to be okay but it's not okay to give up. It's okay to cry, its okay to feel miserable, we all have been there at some point but it's not okay to be stuck in that zone. This is a phase and I promise that this will pass too but it just needs a little bit of effort from you. Only you can help yourself, you should be happy for yourself, you should live your life for yourself, you should do things for yourself, you are not living for anyone else. YOU matter, YOU are precious, YOU are valued, YOU are important, YOU are YOU. Cheer up, pull yourself together and show the world that you are no less. YOU can do things, YOU can and YOU will. Fighting!
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