I love you, Mum

Today, I feel like a terrible son. I told my mum today that I had an interview for a job down south and although happy for me, and giving me the 'go for it' talk, I could tell her heart sank. I could tell that she knew her whole world was about to change and she was just realising that her last child, her little boy (big boy), was about to grow up and move on. (About time, I am 24!). I knew this, so thought it was best to chat for a little while and talk about how her day was, what was going on. Try to make her feel a little better. This turned into a good 3 hour natter, from talking about her wedding day to her struggle with technology at work. (A pet hate, for me, having to show her how things work numerous times, but now I laugh). But this is when it hit me, I'd been so rubbish. I cried that night. I'd lived at home, working a crappy job, for a good 6 years with no pressure on me to sort my life out. Mum would always say I could do whatever I want, I have so many options. 'The world is your Oyster'. She would cook, clean and do just about everything for me. And for what in return? Literally, just me to sit in the same house with her, doing my own thing. No real conversation, or even telling her about what was going on in my life. She will have enjoyed it, knowing I'm safe and still with her, but I hate myself for it. That one conversation, showed me what I'd be missing out on this whole time. An interaction with someone so funny, so witty, so smart! I had it right there, all this time. Only realising now, when I'm about to move away, what I would be missing. I will never take for granted, what a wonderful mother I have. The missed opportunity, has made me realise, that time is so precious, and you've got to make the most of what you've got. I will forever now, as a promise, make sure to chat and listen to family, friends and loved ones. As I realise how important it can be for yourself, but most importantly how it can be for them. I especially know how important it is for my mother, she deserves it, to feel wanted and to have someone to converse with. So that, I will do, as much as I can. I am so lucky to have this amazing woman in my life, supporting me all the way, no matter what. I love you so much, Mum.