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im not great with putting my emotions into words so I made a poem(not exactly) more like a long ass metaphor for what im feeling so here you go,
Losing battle
My fingers slowly tighten around the blade
Tearing through the delicate skin
The blood trickles down slowly
Hitting the barren ground
Disrupting the peaceful silence
Drip drip drip
My knee trembles
The weight of my body dragging it down
Forcing my eyes to meet the destruction below
My feet gave out
Leaving my head to meet with the cold harsh floor
The pain stung but my cries of pain went unheard
Tilting my head I stared straight into black lifeless eyes
I examined the blood stained face
Only to realise we looked the same
She looked a little younger, more innocent
One of the countless lives wasted
I lay in the middle of the body strewn field
Clutching on my chest
Praying that the cut over my heart would cease
My eyes flutter close, the pain overtaking my body
But Im pulled out of my thoughts by a familiar voice
Straining my eyes a dark figure looms over me
An evil smirk resided on her face
A sword identical to mine loosely held in her hand
A sense of relief flooded through me
A way to escape the pain had come to me
But my eyes grew large
As the dim light finally revealed my saviour
Or maybe my ruiner
Her eyes bore through me
Filled with disgust and disdain
She shook her head in disappointment
And stepped away cautiously
I tried to scream, reach out
But all my desperate efforts went unnoticed
Trapped in this never ending pain
tortutre could not have come in a truer form
I watched as my only way to reprieve retreated
I turned to the sky
My only source of comfort
The moon, the stars,
Their accidental beauty
Slowly the pain starts to numb
All the wounds present but unfeeling
My body alive but my eyes lifeless
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