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I’m not ill I’m not crazy I’m just a 21 year old women who’s mentally drained. Will I ever be enough. Older individuals probably look at this and think oh look it’s probably some boy and they’ve probably fallen out. Yes it’s a boy and it hurts and it’s been nearly 5 years with him and I’m exhausted I’m drained I’m not good enough for him. I’m tired maybe it’s me maybe I’m childish sometimes but that’s because he just does what he wants he crosses the boundaries it hurts soooo much I’m drained there’s been times where I’ve felt so alone and I’ve felt betrayed and I’m shaking in anger and I want to scream and then he’s made me feel loved. Rn I’m numb but it still hurts I want to disappear somewhere far and I wish he could come but will he protect me will he love me will I be safe. I know your probably thinking safe protection? From what? I don’t know myself but I always feel like I want him to keep me safe from something and idk what maybe I’m nothing anymore I’ve lost myself I’m scared I’m drained I’m so exhausted I’m stressed I wanna be protected from this feeling I wanna be hugged. I miss my dad he left me his still around but he’s not at home I miss hugging him I miss holding his hand and going to the shops I miss being loved by him I miss him a lot I miss being in peace I wish o was 12 again I wish I miss it I miss being home with both parents safe loved I miss that feeling of not being scared of someone hurting me I miss not fearing I miss not being exposed to worldly stuff I wanna be safe and loved.
People hurt me they anger me and then I can’t control my tongue. I’m scared for the stress and feeling I’ll feel tomorrow Im so fragile right now
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One day at a time , You got this I believe in you x
ReplyThis boy sounds like bad news move on.
ReplyEmotional wipeout is painful no matter what age. You invested almost 1/4 of your life in someone who’s not giving anything back, I think you’re justified in feeling the way you do. This is a cliché but you can find someone better, someone who deserves you. I think the sooner you cut ties with the jerk, the sooner you can open up your options on meeting new people. I know you’re drained and it’ll be a while before you can get back to your old self, but it’s like healing a broken bone, you’ll eventually get through this. Don’t be afraid to take some downtime, watch movies or read or write to keep sane while you recoup. Heartbreak hurts at every age but we just gotta keep going and looking for the right person…
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