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Everybody says you're only 23 years old, there's no rush, but they don't understand. They don't know what it feels like. I've never been on a date or in a relationship, I can't even get someone to want to hold my hand. Anyone who shows interest is at least twice my age. No offense but I don't want to date someone the same age as my grandfather. It's just everyone in my life seems to leave and if they don't then I constantly think they are. Even on days when my mood isn't so bad, the feeling still lingers over me. It's been so hard to get out of bed these days. I'm close to my coworkers and as they leave they're like "have a good night, love you." And of course, I say it back, I hate upsetting people. But for me, it's just nothing but words. I don't have an idea of what love feels like. The only people who say it almost seem like they have to. It feels forced. I just feel so unlovable.
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I can relate to that. I want the deeper connection not the superficial one. Dating online seems so tedious and surface level when most of them just want a quick skinship. And you can never find someone who could just do those “little things” like being your fav snacks. It’s tough, my friend and I’m 21. Then the thoughts of them leaving so why bother get hurt again. Why let people in when they’re just going to abandon me. Yeah, I got those thoughts too. Or that I’m so unlovable and unworthy and broken that no one exceptional or kind would ever look at me because I’m just below them. Honestly, I try and go easy on myself when I’m in those cycles of thoughts. I try to… talk to that self that makes me sad and lonely. Try to understand where they come from and see if what they say is rooted in truth. Try to be kind to yourself. It’s pretty hard I know but try. Take yourself on a date some time. Just you and spoil yourself. Don’t wait for someone to do it and you’ll find that sometimes, your own company is quite pleasant.
ReplyI can relate too. I'm 28 years old. Never been in a relationship. I don't mind dating an older person, not that old, of course.
Hope we three, and others out there, can find love. Wish y'all good luck.
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