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About a year ago now a girl who I am pretty much hopelessly in love with moved away to a boarding school in another country. She came back this summer for a short time (she's still here for a few weeks) and now it's like I realised just how much I still miss having her here. I thought I'd dealt with my emotions but they all just seem to be flooding back. It also gives me this weird combination of loss and hope that I found out during the year from another friend that she definitely liked me romantically at some point the year before she left.
Around the time she left I wrote a poem to try and deal with my emotions, I've never really shared it with anyone and would really like someone to read it and see if they can understand any of my feelings of loss.
Bouncing drop of sunshine
You brighten my world with your vibrant rays
I wish you'd stay until the end of time
And together we'd spend endless days
I love it when you are around
Turning sorrows into glee
The way you like to jump about
With such a blissful energy
We both view life quite differently
From how the rest of our world sees
As whilst they stand there awkwardly
We just dance because we're free
But as the sun begins to set
We flee in opposite directions
Still I take every chance I get
To carry on our conversations
For every reason I can think of
I send you haphazardly constructed messages
I don't yet know if I'm in love
But still I wait for your responses
With every line that you deliver
Excitement fills me and makes me shiver
I read the words that you create
And feel my face vasodilate
It matters not what we discuss
I'll promptly respond without a fuss
For just those extra daylight hours
Help me survive the winter showers
I know so much about you now
You love to spring from place to place
I hope one day my cold feet will allow
For me to join you in this race
But in the meantime here I stay
As you disappear in to the horizon
I'm stuck here as you zoom away
Chasing your dreams where the sun is rising
You're out there doing what you should
If only, just like you, I could
I'm here and here is where I'll be
For a whole two years of eternity
But maybe I can chase you still
If continue our long chats you will
I know we may seem far apart
But this was never an easy art
So don't leave those precious memories behind
Because being with you makes me feel alive
Don't let my blue sky simply fade into grey
Bouncing drop of sunshine, please don't bounce away
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