How do you rid yourself of the performance?

I'd seen a video from Monica Hernandez recently about how when you don't fit in from a very young age, you learn to observe yourself from an outside perspective. It's a survival tactic. You learn to see yourself and judge yourself based on interactions with others, how they treat you and what they say about you, and you tweak yourself accordingly. You do what you think is best to satisfy them, and in essence you stop being yourself.

When you put on the facade so young, and have been upholding it since before your own individual fledgling ego was able to take root, how do you know who you are outside of the person you'd been pretending to be to appease others?

How do you rid yourself of the performance?

What facets of yourself are a direct result of pretending for the benefit of others?

Are you really a "chill" person, or did you learn to stop caring because your emotions were never respected? Do you really "go with the flow", or are you too scared to rock the boat and cause confrontation when people need to be challenged? Are you really a naturally entertaining person, or did you have to become one because people never saw any value in you beyond how often you made them laugh?

These are just examples, but the central question is this: Are you really you? Or is this person, "you", someone you've had to costume as since before you could be aware of yourself? Is the construct of you an act entirely?

And is there even any way to know the difference?