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About a month ago I met a guy online on a letter exchanging platform. For about two weeks we exchanged letters talking about everything, about what we are passionate about, our dreams and places we want to travel. We realised we were similar in a lot of aspects and saw life in a similar way. He had a fear that we would lose touch on that platform and I guess I had too, so we exchanged our snapchat usernames. We started talking there. It felt a bit different and weird there to me. I didn't let that show to him. It kind of felt more intimate. It was my first time talking to a guy like that. I was wondering what would happen next between us and I felt a bit scared. I thought that maybe I have a fear of intimacy. Also I suffer from social anxiety so talking a lot on snapchat just didn't feel right. So one morning I sent him a text telling him that I can't talk to him anymore giving the reason that once I get too close to a person I feel like running away from them. I uninstalled snapchat and the letter exchanging app ( we were still exchanging letters there). I had also told him my email earlier so after sending that text i got an email from him. He was very upset with me and he told me he was very hurt. I felt very very bad for what I did then. I couldn't stop myself from getting back on snapchat and texting him. I apologised to him for what I did and then everything was okay again. He said that he did not want to lose me. We continued being friends talking about our daily lives and our dreams and the things we liked in common. It felt good then just talking as friends. I started missing him when he was not available. With time we got more and more closer realising that our relationship was becoming more than a friendship. We exchanged each other's pictures. We started calling each other sweet names. Just recently we have started sexting. We have done it twice in consecutive days. When we are doing it he writes me those things and gives me orders. So I write him back and tell him to do things as well. When we are doing it I feel good and want more. He feels the same. In the morning we talk about normal stuff and motivate each other to study like friends do which is a good thing. But after doing all that sexting, I feel guilty as if I have done something wrong, that all this is not me doing it but someone else. This is my first relationship and that even online. I wonder if this would be okay if we had met in person and then it would feel more real and not so bad.
Is this okay? I want to know if such kind of a relationship okay? It's not like i want another person's approval. It's just that I want someone to tell me to not feel bad about it, that all these things are okay to do.
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its okay if you enjoy it, just make sure you aren't only speaking with him because you feel bad for him, if you truly trust him and believe you guys are good together then its great and good for you! alot of people meet online and not everyone is like the stories you hear about such relationships. also make sure you respect your own boundaries and don't do anything you dont feel comfortable with, stay safe <3
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