How to conceal burn scars?

TW: Self-harm. Mature content.

Every time I burn or cut, I do it on places where people can't see (Hip, thighs). I had a very psychotic night on Saturday (2am), so I ended up taking the hot iron and rubbed it all against my body. Including my breasts and arms....from my fingers, to palm to forearm to arm to shoulder, on both hands.

I almost did it on my face but I was aware enough that people would see it on my face, so I didn't.

Anyways. I did the same on Sunday night (2am).

Now I went to college on Monday and I realized that it's impossible to cover my burn scars that's on my wrists, hands, and fingers, since they're all dark red/maroon, dried, and skinned up, as well as very fat and thick, and there's only some white spaces left on my arms. Like bruises and burns kind of look. And I don't own gloves. So I wore my jacket and tried to cover it up with its long sleeves. I also worked out with the same jacket.

But anyways. I'm trying to quit. I've been cutting words like slut, whore, devil, or other abuser names onto my chest and thighs and I have a general cutting addiction since the age of 15. I'm now 19 and my body is fucked up. I'm looking for other ways to cope and now I'm considering smoking and replace that with my cutting and burns. I also deleted my Instagram BDSM account where I'd post videos of me peeing on my fresh cuts or using needles etc to entertain other men, I'd do it on their orders even though I'm asexual. Now I deleted it.

Anyways. My cousin also attends the same college with me. She never meets me, but to MY luck, she texted me and said she wants to talk during break. So I went and we were talking about a few serious family matters and I was SO busy with that, that I forgot about my sleeves.

And subconsciously, my fingers lost the grasp of my long sleeves and my hands started showing as I was too busy talking with her, and it caught her attention, and then she grabbed both my arms and rolled up the sleeves and saw EVERYTHING (Except I didn't let her roll it up to my shoulders just in time).

And she started crying and asked me who did this, who's abusing me, etc...I felt so bad...I didn't know anyone would care. I told her it was by mistake since I didn't know what else lame excuse to give her. But yeah. She said she doesn't believe me.

Eventually one of my classmates came and said that the teacher is here. So I had to go.

But I didn't tell her that I did it.

Now these are the sort of scars that concealers can't hide.

What excuse am I supposed to give others IF they see it too???

Fuck. 😭😭.

I'm tryna quit this self-harm carving/burning addiction since I'm not a teen anymore and I could at least get some more mature and adult ways of coping with shit. Like smoking.

But how am I supposed to deal with this now??? It's become a proper addiction.

The worst part is that my dad's flight is on June 23 and he's out of country. He's gonna come visit and I don't know what I'm supposed to tell him because he's gonna spend a few months here and he always notices EVERYTHING. The smallest of the smallest detail.

Will it fade away by then???

They're very dark maroon burns everywhere. Not one of those small ciggerate burns. They're big fat red iron marks overlapping each other and leaving black bumpy imprints.

I swear my logic dies out when I get psychotic nights. I almost burned my face but thank God I had a little bit of common sense left to know that people would see my face.

Help?!