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For several months I worked in 3 places and it was fine, but now I feel I am nearly on the edge. I cannot work normally, even the easiest work is unbearably hard to make myself doing. I made good friends lately in the internet, very nice people, and i was trying to be supportive and the cheer and laugh I was getting from them was kinda helping me to move on, because I don't feel I can get in from my internal recourses. I am regretting I opened up for a bit about my insecurities, because I am afraid that my reassurance of others will not look genuine now, while it was genuine. I can give the best advices to anybody but myself. I don't get enough contact from them now. I am drained and feeling how the lack of social contacts (which i don't have any energy to maintain) and loneliness is taking me down. Holy crap, sometimes I wake up and think that I better didn't. I am anxious when I get mails and I am not sure I can get out of it. For record, I am not on my way to suicide, just I am on my way down in all senses, including losing my job.
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I don't really have much in the way of advice for your situation as personally I haven't been where you are myself. But I hope you are hanging in there OK and that your friends you speak to are supporting you. It sounds really tough and if your able to I would take a day off to do something that makes you happy or something you have wanted to do for a while. Some time to enjoy yourself and remember that there is good in the world. Try not to burn yourself out, sometimes it better to start with a new candle x
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