About My Behavior Tonight

Good evening, I'm Sorry this Message is Coming so late. I needed time to reflect on my behavior this evening. You deserve at least an explanation; not an excuse though. Nothing will excuse my language and actions tonight. Let me start by saying firstly, I think your doing an amazing job at building a good core unit for this summer. And the steps you've taken to create the kind of environment that is enjoyable to work at, are working. I am sorry that for the past while I have been extremely disappointing in my work ethic and attitude, to an intolerable degree. Tonight all that came to a head in yet another embarrassing display on my end. I don't know what's been going on with me. I feel so low, anxious, and stressed out every day I walk through those doors. The only feelings I associate with the place are those of betrayal, failure, and exploitation. It is not the results of anything recent since I've been back though. It's more like ghosts at this point, and they've been haunting me, so to speak. I have no ill will towards you, Lisa, or Dylan. It's just that sometimes, my paranoia gets the best of me and I'll lose my assumption of good will in people. When that happens and particularly when I'm already stressed out, I tend to feel like I'm under attack. So I lashed out, used my words as a weapon unjustifiably, and threw the container of sauce. None of you deserved any of that. I'm Sorry. I understand the choice you will have to inevitably take, and will bear full and absolute responsibility for it all. Thank you for your undeserved patience with me, and I'm sorry I let you down.

If I don't get a chance to, extend my apologies to Dylan, and Lisa. Also Evan deserves my thanks too.