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I think I am in depression for more that 4-5 years. I think I am useless I could not clear my CA exam which i am giving for last 5 years. I don’t know why but I could not concentrate I don’t feel like doing anything and then again I think about my future that I am already 26 year old girl having zero income lonely in life, getting continuous failures when my friends are so much successful. I cry for whole days without any strong reason. I always get angry on my family member without any big reason afterwards I realise that I am wrong but I feel helpless for my own behaviour. Whatever my parents do for my elder brother I do comparison with that and feel like I won’t get anything in my life because I am a looser. I know my family is with me they only think for my good but for know reason I always feel that nobody loves me. I always after results decide that this time I will only focus on study but things are not changing for last 4 years. I feel like I am useless and I don’t have any purpose in my life other than giving exam and getting bad results. I take any thing or any saying so personally that I don’t go for any function or gathering as because I fear that people will ask about my results and I am a failure. I always think about my future like are so many attempts even if I pass CA exam who will give me job. How will I get good Husband. Many of my friends are already cleared their exam and happily married and I am still stuck in Exams . I don’t feel anything exciting. I have many mood swings like I suddenly get sad by just little thing. I feel like going to psychiatrist but not sure. As I don’t want to be dependent on medicine and in India it’s not very common to meet a counsellor. I don’t know how to get out from this mental state. Please any one here who can help me to be out from this state.
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It sounds like to me you take pride in your achievements, so when you don't do so well on something, it can be upsetting and embarrassing to tell others about it. I'm not sure what a CA exam is, but it sounds tough, so try not to beat yourself up too badly if you've had a difficult time with it. But if it's been four years of trying this exam, maybe it's time to look into other options. First of all, a psychiatrist might be able to help you with your study habits if you're still interested in taking the CA exam again, and they can help you cope with mood swings too. Second of all, do you have any hobbies that you like taking part in? Having a balance of work and fun can help lift your mood. And lastly, maybe it's time to rethink how you approach your goals in life. Is CA really what you want to do, or did you feel pressured by family to do it? What happened in your friendships? Is marriage the right move for you right now? Take some time to contemplate these important life questions so that you can have more direction.
I hope this response wasn't too long and was helpful. It's going to be alright — just believe it one step at a time, alright?
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