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I think I am in depression for more that 4-5 years. I think I am useless I could not clear my CA exam which i am giving for last 5 years. I don’t know why but I could not concentrate I don’t feel like doing anything and then again I think about my future that I am already 26 year old girl having zero income lonely in life, getting continuous failures when my friends are so much successful. I cry for whole days without any strong reason. I always get angry on my family member without any big reason afterwards I realise that I am wrong but I feel helpless for my own behaviour. Whatever my parents do for my elder brother I do comparison with that and feel like I won’t get anything in my life because I am a looser. I know my family is with me they only think for my good but for know reason I always feel that nobody loves me. I always after results decide that this time I will only focus on study but things are not changing for last 4 years. I feel like I am useless and I don’t have any purpose in my life other than giving exam and getting bad results. I take any thing or any saying so personally that I don’t go for any function or gathering as because I fear that people will ask about my results and I am a failure. I always think about my future like are so many attempts even if I pass CA exam who will give me job. How will I get good Husband. Many of my friends are already cleared their exam and happily married and I am still stuck in Exams . I don’t feel anything exciting. I have many mood swings like I suddenly get sad by just little thing. I feel like going to psychiatrist but not sure. As I don’t want to be dependent on medicine and in India it’s not very common to meet a counsellor. I don’t know how to get out from this mental state. Please any one here who can help me to be out from this state.
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Hey. I don't know if I am experienced enough to give you advise, but I'm sure I can help you with some words at least a little bit. I hit a hard stage in my life this past year. I'm pretty sure I was depressed. I was unmotivated for 5-6 months during the school year. I was homeschooled always staying home, so it was hard dealing with the same days that repeated. This caused me to have depression and lose motivation to do many things. I didn't do so good in my schooling, and my health wasn't very good either. I felt like I was trapped in some loop that I couldn't escape. Some people told me that this feeling would go away, but I didn't think it would. Now, I'm slowly healing. I'm much better, and I have all my motivation back. I improved myself. There's still hope and time for me to do what I want to do. I think there's hope and time for you as well. It must've been hard going through depression for years. I was only depressed for a couple months, but it felt really bad. Just remember, that you're capable of change anytime your mind decides to. You have the power and control to decide what you want for yourself. You're not a bad person at all. Sometimes people reach hard times in life. Those hard times teach us some things about ourselves, and we learn something new. I think we can discover some good things about ourselves once we realize the things we're capable of doing. Don't be so hard on yourself, please. I'm lonely as well. There's many people in the world who're more successful than me, but that doesn't mean it's impossible for me or you to be as successful as them too, right? We can work hard. You can improve yourself. Slowly. Change happens everyday within us and around us. It can happen slowly or fast. Change can be positive or negative. We can control whether that change is positive or negative. You mustn't give up. I believe that you're strong enough to do what makes you happy. Please don't let anyone bring you down. I have hope in you, I hope you get onto a better path of healing yourself.
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