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Teen Love Rejected In SL
2 weeks ago · · Stress,
This is a note that I am writing with all of my heart.
In Sri Lanka, young love is rejected. 14 year olds, 15 year olds are not allowed to love. But I don't understand why. Many say, that it's because of the culture. But it's not a justified reason. When young children are seeing loving, adults look at them as if they are criminals.
Sri Lanka being a Buddhist country, doesn't understand about the value of love.
They believe that we should spread love (metta) to everybody but in yet they are against young love.
And I would like to point out that, Lord Buddha, the leader of Buddhism, married at the age of 16 during his lay life.
He found love when he was a teenager.
If so, why can't a Buddhist country like Sri Lanka follow Prince Siddhartha.
And nowhere in Buddhism states that young love is unethical.
And understand that, all the developed countries like UK, US,etc.. are fully approving young love. And that is why those countries are developed and Sri Lanka is still developing. Because Sri Lankan teenagers are abused for loving. They end up being sick of life. They tend to hate school, education and their whole life. As a result many students are not educated properly, and hence they are unemployed.
It's all because of anxiety and depression they have because their love is rejected.
I personally believe, that it's illegal to say No to young love.
Just as the adults, young children have a heart too, and they too have feelings of love. And Sri Lankan parents strictly say their kids, to get the thought of love, out of their mind. But how? It's impossible. Teenagers are not robots that can be programmed to get their feelings stopped.
All these stereotypes about young love, is just foolish.
Sri Lankans tend to believe that love is prohibited during school days. They believe that it can be a barrier for education.
Yes, it is a barrier, only because of the stress the teenagers have about their parents rejection to love. If their love is accepted, just as it is in other developed nations, education will not be harmed. Believe me or not, Sri Lanka will be better place if young love is accepted.
And the most major stereotype or rather an excuse parents have for rejecting young love is measuring people from education,wealth and looks.
Most of the parents say No to love, giving out these excuses :
"That boy is not even educated properly. He is a fool. And I'm pretty sure that he won't even pass the exams. He must be drinking, smoking and must be addicted to drugs. You deserve so much better. All that boy got is money. Don't you have a brain to love him? He is not even handsome."
"She is not even mannered properly. She is ugly. She is a nerd. Don't you have eyes? How can you even love her? Yeh, I know that she is educated but she is ugly and poor. She doesn't suit our family "
"Are you mad? How can you love a boy like him? He is so poor, and he can't treat you properly.Stop loving him immediately. His father is not even looking after them properly"
But love is not about, educational level, wealth,social status or looks. Love shouldn't be limited to all that. Love is looking into each other,being there for eachother during the hard and good days. Love is giving each other time, attention and affection. It's not about wealth, education,looks or social status.
And in the current society, most of the time, class topper (girl) falls in love with a backbencher (boy). Everyone disapproves this love. But the theory of opposite attraction is well defined.
Many teenagers are afraid to say their parents about this. They are afraid to say that they are sick of studying and getting abused because of loving someone.
Dear Sri Lankan parents, please understand your teenager's situation. Please speak with them softly and approve their love. Don't question them, asking for the reason as to why they love their partner.
Let them love, don't abuse them for loving. As stated above you child might be in an unsuitable relationship. But it doesn't matter as long as your child is happy with it. Once you approve their love you don't have to worry anymore. You don't have to worry when they go to school, or when they go out. But do remember to check on them. Have limits for the relationship. Let your child have study dates with their partner. Believe me, if you let your child study with their loved one, they will do it happily.
The only solution for a teenager who has fallen in love,is letting them love. But remember to have limitations for it. If you keep distancing your child with his/her loved one, it will make the situation worse. Don't say them to stop love. It's not practical. Let them love, let them have study dates. It is the only way you could make a teen fallen in love, engage in their studies.
Hence, my request to all the Sri Lankan parents is that, Please don't reject your child's love. Let them love. Don't abuse them. Don't tell them to stop love. If all this is done, we can reduce teen mental abuse and the number of teen suicidal cases. Dear parents, please act wisely, not according to foolish stereotypes
- Pawani Kirinde