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Last week I took my son to his regular check ups. Truth be told I'm always nervous about them, what if he's not where he's supposed to be. Usually I'm always told that he's doing great, which is relieving. That wasn't the case last week, his pediatrician was concerned with the fact that he's not talking and he's exhibiting certain behaviors. He referred us to a child development center 3 hours away so he can get autism assessment. I know autism isn't a bad thing, and that it wouldn't define him. But to be honest I don't think it's anything a mom wants to hear. I asked him if it was anything I did. I struggle with anxiety, and even though I've been going to therapy I struggle with being interactive with him. The doctor reassured me that it's not environmental, and that he's not even sure that he autistic and it may just be a speech delay. That not knowing, or not being sure, is a good thing. He said he'd likely be "high functioning and would mainly need help with his speech" But in all honesty I'm scared. What if I'm not enough for him? My family is across the country and my husband is deployed. What if I'm not enough for him?
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