Why mom?

The first night of my review session where I didn't touched my materials. I'm so heartbroken at the moment. I know that my mom was firm with her decision to end their relationship. Earlier, I misunderstood her so she was so upset and her words broke me so much (I know I deserve that for not getting her point) but do I really deserve that? Right now, I keep searching features on WhatsApp just to understand what she's doing to me. These weeks, I'm the only one who talks to her because she cuts us all off but I find ways to reach out to her and because of that one misunderstanding, she just told me that eversince, she was never happy with us, and we only give her problems. I get that she was tired and all, but I have my obligations too as a mom. I am not solely focused on my role as a sister and a mother to my siblings. I am just her child. Why does it seem like I've been walking on eggshell this entire time, too afraid of making one mistake that will make her cut me off? Are all mothers like this?

This silent treatment is killing me. I kept blaming myself for making a mistake. I should not have been born and in that way, her miseries must have not started. She could've been happier. I'm sorry, Mom.

-trixl