What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
I blocked him for 2 days back in January, right before my birthday. Because he was so good at making me feel like I didn't matter to him. And I was tired of trying to convince him I was worth his time. If he didn't see it on his own, he was never going to anyway. So I learned my lesson and I started to believe what he was showing me, not what he said.
I unblocked him after that because I didn't want to be that person. I didn't want to play games. If he called, he called. If he didn't, he didn't. But I needed to start fighting my way out of this mess I made for myself.
He never called. Never texted. When I went and looked back, I saw no missed messages. I was hurt again. But this time I knew I needed to be. That it was my fault. And that it would never get better until I moved past it.
And yet, all these months later, I thought I was finally feeling better, and he popped into my head. That damn song about love and marriage and kids and having a life together and I sat there with tears streaming down my face, angry that the only thing I've ever truly wanted remains out of reach, sad that he lead me to believe he might want that someday, sad to realize it just wasn't with me.
I don't hate him. He hurt me in a million ways I don't think he would ever understand but I don't hate him. I just wish he would have talked to me about it. I'm not hard to talk to. I hope he finds whatever it is he wants.
...and there's still a tiny sliver of hope that I find it as well.
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
Life is a lesson
It is well said “There is a purpose for everyone you meet. some people come into your life to test you, some to teach you, some to use you and some to bring o...
-
i didn’t plan to live this long
throughout highschool, i didn’t think i was going to live past 18. i was convinced i would eventually have taken my own life. but then came the hsc, and like...
He healing process is hard but your doing an excellent job! Focus on making yourself happy, keep him blocked! He doesn’t give you the time of day and if one day he decides too he’a still
Not worth your time.
ReplyFYI: When you block someone & then decide to unblock them... There's no way of seeing if the person ever contacted you during the time that you had them blocked... That's one of the main points to blocking someone, you won't be notified if they ever try to make contact with you in the way that you blocked them... And so, when you unblock the person, you're left with an unknown answer (he may or may not have tried to reach you)... I am sorry, but that's what comes with the territory of blocking someone... I hope that makes sense... Just a suggestion, if you're really interested in knowing or resolving the past, you could try to reach out to him.
ReplyActually, on androids there is a way to access blocked messages for a time. And yes, I've considered trying reach out and resolve things with him...but this has happened with him before and it's always me reaching out trying to fix things that I'm starting to think will always be broken. I found myself missing him even when we were talking. I think I will always miss him but I'm not sure anymore if he was ever good for me or ever really cared about me. There's a lot of history I could unpack but that would take way too long to explain.
Thank you for your thoughts though. I do appreciate your time.
Reply