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It isnt anything new for me to thirst and envy over something, as a guy who recently turned adult in a middle class family,i actually never got to get the things i desired, by any means.
My life isnt really that complicated or yet so simple. some caes i didnt even get things i deserved which would be a fatherhood. It wasnt like i didnt have my father around, it was just i was ignored. Dad most of the time cared for my cousins rather than me. He took care of them like a father rather instead of doing it to me, he did the most of him to them when he had the energy, time and most importantly the money. As the world changed, the people of this world shifted towards other thing. Dad used to provide Long Distance call services, which were pretty rare at the time, as smartphones werent something everybody had nor internet due to my country being a small undeveloped country. This bussiness of his actually worked and earned him alot, but yet he didnt spend any of that on places he shouldve spent on. There were times where me and my mon were completely alone in the house where my dad would hang around my aunt and my cousins, treating him like his won child where I was left in misery and defecet of his presence. Today he is old, not much of anything of his fortune left, most of it gone by his unnecesarry care for his sister and his sons and daughters and loaning people who left him in despair. One of his partner even stole everything of the electronic store he owned, everything my dad had, from money to those blackberry phones. He was left with little at the end.
i saw him struggle for paying my tuitions. There was a point my mother had to sell part of her gold ornaments just so they could pay my tuitions which i was completely unaware of. it wasnt long my Mom lost all her gold in debt and my family still does, the biggest being my one of my cousin's husband, who my dad tried to help with investing on something but ended up as a hilarious joke by god, as the founder of the bussiness semmigly ran off with all the money he got from his investors. My dad was held guilty for this and had to reimburse him, even though it was my Dad who made my cousins and my brother-in-law's wedding happen as Dad spent 70% for it.
Today i see my mother give my dad sudden jolt-like fueds. I see her crying for all the things we couldve built if my father was a bit caring towards us at the time.
Today my dad gets punished for his mistakes everyday when my cousins who were raised by my father turn against him. My mother asks me why im not as loving towards my father, even though she knows why.
In conclusion i didnt have my dad when i nedded himthe most, but yet im here for him when he needs his family the most at his old age
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