<2> J -n.s

So to continue from my previous story,

We have known each other for 4 months, roughly. I met him for less than half of a day. We have been texting for awhile now. There are days whereby he will take more than a day to reply me. And those days are days I really hated a lot as I kept on waiting for J. It was tough, my mind was always on him. And it is weird how I kept thinking about him and that everything around me just reminded me of him.

On the other days, he can be really nice and reply the very next moment. We can spend hours just texting random stuff to each other, and of course, I really love those days, I love his company. But I'm afraid, how he can be replying a lot and the next moment, he doesn't reply me back. He can be online but not reading and replying :( It hurts my feelings a lot. I tend to question myself. Are all these tears worth? For all you know, I'm really just an international friend of his. My friends asked me why I kept on going back to him when he treats me like this, and they question how I have no line to how hurt I can be.

J likes to say things like how it will be if he comes over to my country and he wants to me to tour with him.

really, J is a nice guy, with a positive attitude and is smart. Meanwhile, I'm the opposite. I tend to go to him when I'm sad because he will be there for me. I realised I relied on him too much. And he is my happiness.

That is why I'm really afraid that one day, he'll leave me hanging again cause right now, I know, I have fallen hard for him, a person I won't be able to be with.

I really do not know what to do. Distance and timezone is a thing but also culture. Since I'm Asian and he is caucasian, I don't think I deserve him because he really is perfect, too out of my league.

Right now, I'm having the time of my life. For the past few days, he has been accompanying me, motivating me and making my bad days all better. I can say that it is impossible for him not to know that I liked him even from my texts. We can be super cheesy to each other and high key flirting but I know he doesn't feel the same way as I do towards him. And again I'm afraid, soon he will leave me again.

Dear readers, what should I do? Should I give him up? Or continue liking him and relying on him? Do I seem too clingy? Should I just let him go? Isn't it weird how I have these feelings for someone I met less than a day.?Heis too nice and good for me. I really do not know what to do.. Sometimes I just tear up knowing he deserves someone better than me. <<< funny how I feel this way when we are not together..

Do give me some advice :')

I really like him. He is just perfect but here i am, all worried...