Late night thoughts

Ones home should not consist of having to worry what mood and mental state your family are going be in through the day. Lately its walking on eggshells with both my parents. Mom gets hateful time excited over the littlest things. Dad too. Fvck. They really suck the joy out of you. I wish they'd chill the fuq out you know. I'm not like they are. I'm chill as long as others are to me. THEY ARE THE PROBLEM. yet rarely own anything they do and deny it. Do you know how annoying that is and mentally frustrating? Today i felt so alone like the world was against me. First my doctor. I can't believe dad arrogantly sided with them for treating me $hitty. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? AM I THAT FKING WORTHLESS TO THIS WORLD AND THEM ALL? IM A FKING HUMAN BEING WITH FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS TOO. What do you do when you feel the whole words against you and yours all by yourself?

Hmm. 🤯💥🔫 comes to mind.

Yeah its suicide awareness month of September and they got me thinking that. my parents and my uncaring ass Dr. WHO IS A PASTOR mind you. Well. let God judge them for making me feel worthless. I can't believe dad took up for them treating me like I was less than dog poop. I mean I'll tell you things he's done since he's been a sucky s#itty person to me.

#1. One time he had an old woman as a Dr. He wanted opiates/ methadone etc because he's a drug addict. They refused. So he gets up threatened them literally I guess came at her made her hide behind a chair or bed according to him in fear. And its like he's proud of it. Ok. I could go all day

#2. Let's let not forget him when he used to see my Dr. He was on high power pain killers. Oxycontin. He changed the prescription from a 10 to a 40 mg. Something like that. They knew what he did. They dismissed him as a patient instead of prosecuting him. I wonder if my Dr holds resentment of him of that stuff against me? Its wrong if they do.

#3. He took a prescription he forged to a pharmacy. Smart eh? Police showed up took his ass to jail.

He pi$$ed me off that's why I'm writing how faulty hes been in life for degrading me like I have no worth.

#4. He called my dr IN MY NAME telling a fake story to get a few pain pills. In my name. I actually do suffer with headaches. They or he exploited that for his gain. I NEVER SAW A ONE OK I have MIGRAINES THEY SUCK smh

#5. Upon coming here when he lived with my aunt she was dosed to the eyeballs on pills. Slobbering. He admitted stealing a bunch of her pain meds. Like its bragging rights?! Idk.

Ok I'll stop but I'm not saying he's worthless. but he and my doctor shouldn't make me feel worthless either. On father's day he said I fkd things up by being born. No that's his fault he couldn't keep his d!ck in his pants. But how can a proclaiming pastor of a dr justify treating me like $hit? WHEN I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG OK MY PERSONAL LIFE IS MY BUSINESS NOT THEIRS THEY ATTACKED ME LIKE IM BELOW THEM OR SOMETHING. THAT HURT OK DO YOU KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO HAVE NO FRIENDS NOBODY GOT YOUR BACK EVEN FAMILY,? IM STILL REALLY PI$$ED OK. IF I WAS A DR ID APPRECIATE ALL MY PATIENTS N SEND THEM A BIRTHDAY CARD TOO. IM THAT THOUGHTFUL. THEY'RE NOT. They're STALE DRY ANGRY uncaring acting. THEY DIDN'T USED TO BE THIS WAY. Shame on you. if I killed myself would they care? Would anyone? I'm tired ok. Don't push me over the edge (´;︵;`)

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