Is "the best friend" even real?

I sometimes wonder if my ideal of a best friend is too naive. I always give everything in a close friendship, only to be returned...nothing. I don't do things with the expectation of getting something back.

But I always support my friends, am happy for their achievements and am not clouded by jealousy. I would drop any romantic partner, if I had the impression that it's harming my friendship.

I thought I had found two friends who are exactly that. But they are not.

I like keeping my friend group small, so it hurt extra when I realized I had picked wrongly. They started excluding me. One said she didn't do anything wrong. The other said I was to blame, because I am "too much" and she had to convince herself to even hang out with me. It was like she hated me. My closest friend. For whom I would have done anything for.

I am 16 and maybe naive. But it will take some time until I can open myself up to someone that much again. I just want someone who likes me for me and never thinks I'm too much. Those words hurt extremely and I'll probably carry them with me for a while.

Does a "best friend" really exist ?