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To my future self
l really hope that things have gotten better because right now everything just feels so overwhelming. It feels really dark right now. dad has been gone for over a year now and it still feels like yesterday. speaking of yesterday we just lost "E" as well. he went quickly and all i have now is the dark realization that my children will never have a grand father. I feel jealous of "A" because the girls atleast got to have dad for a little while. I want to have hope but i just can't see it at the moment. things are so dark and it would be so easy to just let the darkness wash over me.
I hope you are doing better than I am
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