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Here I am again. No place to go. I'm tired of fighting this. Worrying. Fretting. Trying to stable myself.
It's fucking cold out here. And it's only getting colder. Everyday is a fight for survival. For my sanity. My last cards have been played. Now what?
How I long for security. A warm bed. The reassurance of knowing that I'll a roof over my head for time to come.
I swear some people don't know how lucky they have it. They complain about their mundane life, their shitty jobs, and how life isn't fair.
They see me and the act I put on that everything's alright and they think I'm some punk who doesn't take life seriously and thinks only of himself. That I'm out partying and living my best life and doesn't think much of his daughters.
They couldn't be so much farther then the truth. Oh how i wish I was living the life they assume I live. For then I would have a warm bed to sleep on. Food in my belly. And money in my wallet. I would have the luxury to take care of my daughters and have a place for them to come visit me.
The funny part is that everyone thinks they have a much harder life than me and im taking life for granted. They have no idea how lucky they are to have a comfy bed and the ability to buy cheap disgusting food to fill their belly.
I'm tired of this lifestyle. Of battling homelessness. Majority stems of me trying to please others and live up to their expectations instead of focusing on what I want. On making sure that all my needs are taken care of. Fuck what everyone else thinks.
Time to go back to my roots and what I know what to do. First thing first is to stabilize myself. Best and fastest way I know is working at a hostel. I'll be working for free in exhange for a bed. If I'm lucky they'll provide at least one meal. If I'm extremely lucky they'll apply some sort of stipen or allowance.
Once my living situation is taken care of, mental space and energy will free up letting me turn my attention to other things then worry. Besides food (which I can fix that while working at a hostel) it's time to tackle the next big challenge. Money.
Time to start applying for clients on Upwork. Hit that up everyday. At minimum I'll be sending 10 proposals a day. To acquire money faster I can work for tips doing free walking tours at whatever city I work at.
I'll learn all the interesting sites about the city first and join a walking tour so I can see how they do it. Then ill come up with my own tour and offer that at the hostel.
I'll brainstorm other services I can do for tips. While I'm doing all of this I'll also be building up my travel portfolio. Documenting my tours through pictures and stories on social media as well as helping the Hostel with their social media content.
This will help my long term play in somehow breaking into travel industry. Travel is all I know and it's in my blood. High time I got paid for it and make it into a living income. Either through a career or a business.
These are my short term and long term plans that I've concocted freezing my ass off homeless in this train stations. Already emailed majority of the hostels in Germany and waiting for a reply. Already scored an interview for Tuesday. Unfortunately it's Friday night. So a while to go.
Hopefully I can score something before then. Hate to be homeless in the freezing cold until then. Life sucks right now. But it'll get better. Unfortunately it's going to take time. Something I'll gladly put up with then being homeless forever.
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You're such an amazing person. I have never seen such a positive attitude from anyone. I am sure things will get way better the way your mentality is. Just dont lose hope and things will work out for the best. I wish you all the very best for your amazing life ahead. Take care (^ω^)
ReplyReally good news about that interview. It's great you're so hopeful because that is what is going to propel you forward through your plan. I hope you can find some warmth and I will check back here in a few days incase you post an update for how the interview goes. You will be in my prayers tonight.
ReplyI hope you can make it into a hostel but in the meantime I read that areas in Germany installed sleep pods? Do you know where these pods are?
ReplyI really hope all works out in your favor 🙏
Reply