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No one makes time for me but I make time for them. No one actually cares they just pity me.
The love of my life committed suicide and all I want to do is be with her.
I never was one who longed for this world.
I hate this world. A world that never even gave me a chance. Bullied and harassed for being a different religion.
A kid who was always alone
A boy who turned into a man that would never want anyone to feel the same as he does.
A person who wished that if he helped everyone than someone would at least care about him.
This person can no longer stand to keep being here.
I just want to die.
Be reunited with the one person who actually cared.
Who often asked how I was.
Who loved me
Who I was engaged to
Who I planned to marry and have a family with
A person who even before she died only wanted the best for me.
So why bother trying anymore
Everybody leaves me
For once I want to be the one to leave first
For once I want people to know that I mattered
That what they did and what they said mattered
I want them to know what it’s like to lose someone they cared deeply about
Maybe then they’ll understand why avoiding me and leaving me alone was really bad
All the times I was told to go kill myself
All the times I was threatened
All the times I was backstabbed
All the wonderful people who are now gone
All my hopes and dreams are gone
My energy is gone
My will is gone
Someone please tell me that I’ve done enough
That I may finally Rest In Peace
Cause I don’t want to be here anymore
I’ve saved so many of my friends but no one wanted to save me
Goodbye
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Hey nah, don't do this. I may not know you or know your entire story but just think about it. It feels terrible as it is, maybe it won't get better. But right now, maybe it's just not a good time to do it. It hurts and yeah it really fucking does, and maybe nothing will feel better. But right now if you kill yourself, even if it sounds good to you. Just don't. Just... don't. Just live for a bit more. Live for a day. And after a day, live for a week. Just live a little more. A little more will be enough, or maybe more than that will. Just continue. Even if there's no reason to. You can convince yourself to spite the people who wronged you, convince yourself it gets better. Do whatever to keep breathing. Just live.
ReplyDon't tell me I'm late. Hey, if you're still there, please don't do anything harmful to yourself. It hurts a lot right now, and it might hurt longer, but don't hurt yourself more. All I can do is tell you not to hurt yourself right now, I can't save you but right now I need you to save yourself for a bit. That might be a lot to ask, but right now you have to sit yourself down in a comfortable place. And think for a long time, please live. Please.
ReplyRefer to the last comment
ReplyKeep living, just hold yourself up for a little bit longer. Keep living for a day, and after a day, live for a week. I'm repeating my words because my other comment was deleted. It feels terrible and man oh man it feels like you're trapped. And maybe it won't get better, but you just need to keep living. Live a little bit more, and after that, continue. Keep yourself up even though your legs are going to give out. You can convince yourself to spite those who wronged you, you can tell yourself anything, all that matters is that you'll live with a good heart. And live with that heart. It's been 20 minutes. I hope you're still here. I hope you're still breathing.
ReplyThank you for caring. I still don’t want to be here but I at least know someone cares
Replyyeah I'm still here. I was refreshing the page to see if you'll live. I don't know you or your full story. I just know that you're hurting heavily. And that hurt isn't deserved. I hope your love one is in peace, and I hope you'll hold yourself.
ReplyI hope she can finally ready easy too, she endured a lot in her life. It always made my heart ache when she would breakdown after remembering something horrific. She was the light of my life, she was the kind of person that loved everyone and always wanted to help but never liked to ask for help. She was a giver. And one of the few people who could ever understand me. The only person who could see through the mask I put on. I miss her more than anything. I just am so tired but I know she wouldn’t want me to see her this soon.
ReplyShe’s probably curse me out and cry and hit me for being with her this soon. So thank you for reminding me of my vow to her. I promised her to live for both of us and to tell her everything I experienced when I do eventually see her again
ReplyI hope you continue to remember that and continue. Please remember to live while taking care of yourself. I hope it'll be a long good story to tell her. And that you'll both be glad the story will be long enough to talk about together.
Reply