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I gained a lot of weight and now when I look at the mirror, I do not like what I see. I feel so ugly and unlikeable. What to do?
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Maybe start working out and try to accept that it is only human nature to gain and loose weight
ReplyWait until you stop growing and if your face is ugly see a cosmetic surgeon to find out if something can be done about it. If something can be done find out the cost. Then make sure to get a job and save.
ReplyIf you dont like what you see then so be it. If you want to change it, i dont eather and im trying
ReplyMiddle aged male here...
I've always had the feeling that if someone were to stand on a stage in the middle of a room filled with 100 people, probably 80 of those people would say that you look ok. They would take you out and, if they are interested to learn more about you, would offer for a second date. Of the remaining 20 people, I think probably 10 of them would say they do not find you attractive at all and the remaining 10 would say you are amazingly beautiful and they would be very interested in taking you out.
That said, I think too many people take rejection to mean that, "I am unattractive because the person I just hit on turned me down." In fact, it's probably just that this other person is physically attracted to some other types of people. Some are attracted to people who are physically fit, maybe they are attracted to someone with a mom or dad body, some are attracted to heavier people. And it's not all weight, of course, as some prefer lots of tattoos (or the reverse - no tattoos), smoking and/or drinking could eliminate you, your clothing choice could turn them off, etc. There's just too many items to list.
It's not always the case but I think, generally speaking, some are interested first to someone they are physically attracted to and then they start hitting on this person and/or getting to know them better to see if there is a match.
For some, being rejected or being flat out told that you are unattractive could leave you feeling this way and believing such a thing.
For others, you just honestly feel this way about yourself.
If others are making you feel this way, I would work to try not letting this bother you. If you just feel this way about yourself, on your own accord, it could be time to identify any problems and tackle them.
You mentioned that you've gained a lot of weight. This is one that can be handled by changes of lifestyle. Generally speaking, people tend to gain weight as they get older; especially after getting into a relationship, having children, or otherwise settling down in some fashion.
Either way, you can loose the weight by various changes to your routine. I wouldn't suggest taking on too much too soon and, as a precaution, consult with a doctor if you are worried about any changes you're thinking of or you're not feeling well after making changes. Maybe start with slight lower portions of food. I, myself, have a mental block that tells me not to waste food. For this reason, I always try to eat everything that's on my plate. Food costs money and it irks me to no end seeing us scrape uneaten food into the trash can or garbage disposal. To combat this, I learned that I can keep this mentality by using smaller plates. That's right, I just use a slightly smaller plate, fill it with food as I normally would, and I eat all that's there. I'm still cleaning my plate but I'm taking in less food. I doubt you'd even notice a change like this as you eat but it could most likely help you loose weight over time.
You could also incorporate healthier foods into your diet. Maybe not cut out everything and go straight to salads. No reason to be so drastic. But try incorporating a healthy vegetable into your dinners. Later, you could incorporate veggies into your lunch as well.
All of this will help you to reduce your intake of calories.
In the reverse, you can start spending calories by exercising. It can be overwhelming but start with something small like walks around your home or just down the street and back. When you feel comfortable, increase the distance of the walk or start jogging part of the way. Many exercises will help you build muscle but it sounds like you want to focus on burning calories, or cardio, so I would stick with jogging, biking, treadmill, etc. to keep your heart rate up and get a sweat going. Remember to start slow and, over time, increase your duration and intensity. If you come in too hard too fast, you could injur yourself or, at the very least, get burnt out and decide "this is too hard" and quit.
Again, I don't think you have to do anything too extreme. Take baby steps and increase over time. Make one change and appreciate that for a while until it becomes routine and you're no longer having to focus on it, and then make another change.
We're sorry to hear you aren't feeling attractive but, as I mentioned, earlier in my post, I'm sure many would find you very attractive. In time, I hope you're able to lose this weight and feel good about yourself again.
Good Luck!!
ReplyFrom a health perspective - try to control your weight. It sounds so simple, right - burn more calories than you eat. But, it's not that simple.
All I can say from experience is:
1. Start by cutting out sodas, and drink water with your meals. Would you rather eat your calories or drink your calories.
2. Set 20 minutes per day to do some type of workout.
3. Eat fruit for desert.
Best of luck.
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow, including the teachings of Christ Jesus. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required, although the former and latter are admirable if practiced freely out of one's own free will and without the threat of being beheaded. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Mark 12:28-31
And Christ Jesus said the 2 greatest commandments are:
Love God first and foremost.
Love your fellow-being as you love yourself.
From following or not following these, all good or evil cascades, respectively.
Reply