i hope you can read this

I never had a chance to thank you.

I never had a chance to thank you for the joy you brought to my life. The smiles, the laughs, the hugs, the kisses.

Nearly fourteen years I had you, I wish I could do it all again. Fix my mistakes, treat you right, and make sure you were never in any pain.

I think of you every day, a day will never go by I don’t think of you. I carry you with me everywhere I go. I see your face when I close my eyes, I feel you when I reach out my hand, and I can smell you if I really try.

To be honest, I try not to stop to often because it hurts me too much inside. My own guilt and regret lingers. I know you wouldn’t want that for me though, I know you want me to be happy. I cared for you as best I could given my own circumstances and I know you leaving was you saying thank you, that you were ready.

I wasn’t.

I wish I could have you back, even for a day. I’d thank you, hold you and kiss you. I want you to meet Jack, he’s so much like you. Sometimes I’m convinced there’s a part of you inside him.

I’m glad you’re in a better place, I’m glad you’re in no pain; just relaxing and eating; I do wish I was there with you, but I can’t right now. But we will meet again. When we do, no time would have passed, but I won’t hold you like I used too, when I hold you again it will be tighter, it will be longer and I will be happy.

I love you. I love you. I love you. How many times can I say it? You have left a hole in my life, an ache in my heart and a weight on my chest. I will never breathe the same.

If it’s not clear I miss you.

Nero, thank you. I love you so deeply, I miss you and I’ll always need you. I will see you again.

Those who say ‘It’s just a dog’ didn’t have a ‘dog’ like you.