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i just cant figure out what the hell is wrong with me. I must going thru hurt , lies ,and bullshit. i got to just suck tthis shit up and get in ttttouch with reality. Thisss narcissist i am with that calls himself a man is never gonna change . i left to go to the store to get us something to drink aand he runs off to his brothjers house cause he has been screwing his brothers ol lady but then again the whole town is screwing her and thats what he likes. so here I am again alone like so many many nights and I'm not allowed to have friends i ca barely go to work cause he says I'm meeting guys . which I already know thats just him trying to justify what hes doing. I've never cheated on that bastard which i should of and could of so many times but all his buddies are just as bad as him and im nit trying to go down on their level. im tired of crying I'm tired of caring im numb actually i think the only thing thats keeping me here is i have no place to go and nobody to help me but right now I'm thinking being homeless is better than going thru this bullshit like i have for thye past 4 yrs please god send me a miracle !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Sending love and hugs your direction.
Don't let anyone tell you what you can and cannot do. When we allow others to dictate the rules to our lives, we pass the control to them. They're now free to make the rules for us, and we become lost and feeling like a shell of what we used to be.
I know that feeling, and it must be so hard when you give him your best, yet don't get the same in return to replenish your emotional resources.
Take good care of yourself, friend. I know you're wise, caring and loving. You need to fill your "jar" before you "pour" into someone else's cup.
ReplyThe things we think about most continue to show up in our lives regardless of whether they are preferred or not. Optimists experience the improvements in their life which includes some disappointments that they think taught them meaningful and useful lessons. Pessimists know that their life is bad and getting worse because the good things they experience never lasts.
If you want your life to improve, you have to improve your mental comments about this matter. Imagine some good shit happening and develop those ideas. Settle on just a few situations so that you can be focused. Write them down, - what will it be, when might it happen, why is this so important, how will I feel when it occurs, where can I find more information about this, what can I do / what am I doing to help make this happen? Keep these summaries short (a paragraph or two). Edit them often as you become more clear about the particulars. Change them as you move closer and learn more. Keep them close and read them daily.
Do what you must (eat, cook, clean, work, sleep, talk, plan, etc.) and give these activities your full attention as best you can. When time permits, thoughts about the past or some possible future will show up. If it is negative and unwanted, let it be there with you as long as it lasts and until it is replaced with another thought. Don't try to prevent their arrival. Don't try to push them away. Don't react. Don't have any mental comments about them. They will eventually dissolve back into the nothingness from which they came from lack of energy soon enough.
When a positive thought arrives (maybe one about one of your important objectives you've summarized), pay attention, use your imagination, get excited, and maybe do something supportive.
Here is the deal; There is nothing wrong with you. You are not your thoughts. All of them come and go. They all need the energy you provide to persist and return often. Your attention, mental comments, and emotions are needed for thoughts to linger. This is so for good, bad, wanted, unwanted, helpful, and harmful thoughts. You are one who can and should decide which thoughts are worthy of further consideration. You have a powerful and complicated thinking instrument that needs to be better understood and managed. This is doing that. What are you waiting for? Get started and have fun while you are at it.
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