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there’s this guy that i know. we used to be together, but i broke up with him because of a multitude of reasons. i lost feeling for him, he was a bad texted, everything seemed dull and boring with him. it was just overall not a great experience. the kissing too was really awkward and nothing like what i imagined. after i ended things, i tried to keep my distance. i didn’t talk to him much. we kept texting but i kept telling him that i felt he was stepping over boundaries. it took multiple times of me telling him that i didn’t feel comfortable talking to him anymore for him to stop. idk why i felt like we had to completely ghost him, ig my parents and friends kept telling me to ditch him. they were putting thoughts in my head that he was a bad guy, so i just listened. i stopped talking to him, told him to stop talking to me, and eventually (thru a lot of tries) we distanced ourselves from each other. the silence between us continued for a couple months. until i started texting him again a few months after school started. i’m a senior now and i don’t know if it’s just because the school makes me think back to the time we were together or if i’m just lonely. i want that social connection, that romantic relationship. but i’m scared and i feel like i don’t have any experience. but at the same time i feel like i have to find someone soon because as a senior, i still don’t have any experience. i should. at least i feel like i should. i haven’t even had sex and so i feel like i need to get someone and try things out before i go to college. once i get to college i feel like everyone’s gonna know how to flirt, how to have sex, and how to sustain a relationship. so ig i started texting him again because he was the one person that made me feel special. the one person i used to confide in on a deeper level than with my parents. it’s been ab one and a half weeks since i started texting him again and i feel like he’s already got someone else. i wouldn’t mind if he did have another girlfriend. i’d actually be happy for him, because that would make him less lonely and feel more loved. i do feel like i hurt him by breaking up with him. i just…i never understood the phrase “it’s complicated” until this relationship got messy. it’s weird, because i still love him but idk if i do in a sexual/romantic way or friendship way. it’s like an in between.
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All people in college don't know how to flirt, how to have sex, and how to sustain a relationship at all. I don't know where you got this idea. You first broke up with this guy with one of the reasons being you had no feelings for him. Now you say you still love him in a sexual/ romantic way. Make up your mind. You sound like you are too immature to be in a relationship, and you are in a rush to have sex and stay in a relationship because you imagine that everyone in college are far more advanced than you with these things. I thought people went to college to take a course (not in sex) so that they will be able to work to support themselves when they leave. College isn't about flirting, sex, and being in a relationship. I hope this guy has another girlfriend now so that you can't use him to advance yourself like this. Please find out what college is about and get your mind off sex. Perhaps you could do well to train as a sex therapist if you can't.
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