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Well here I am again, it’s difficult tbh but I just I have to deal with all the pain and keep my head up. My mother is so different and difficult. Sometimes I fell like I was put here on earth to suffer and be tested to my limits to see if I will end it all or just prove the world wrong. I’m not a perfect person at all, but ik I’m worth well to everyone because I don’t want to hurt anyone at all. But the only person I end up hurting is me. Why? I don’t know. But ik that it’s not healthy. I just have to get through all of this and I’ll be free. I cry when I feel sad but my mom says I’m faking it everytime, to her I don’t have emotions and I’m doing it for attention and stuff. But that’s not the case. I want someone to hear me out to see me who I am. She says I’m always happy but I’m not. I go through my battles alone. I’ll confess. I did cut myself last week. Was I proud of it? No. Did I feel relief? No. Why did I do it? Because im use to feeling pain. I started smoking weed too. I’m not proud of that either. I’m just trying to look for ways to distract myself from the evil in me. I started writing to my aunt who sadly passed away when Covid was bad. She died of Covid. I felt better writing to her again❤️. Even tho I didn’t get a response from her beautiful voice❤️, I knew she was listening to me. I’ll soon be 18 and to be honest I don’t think I’ll make it. And if I do then I made it❤️. Anyways from time to time I’ll write here and keep you guys updated❤️. I May not know any of you guys but you may know me as V.M those are my two initials. But you guys are family to me. Lol ik crazy right? But family listens to you. And you guys are listening to me blab my problems and stuff. Anyways I’ll be back soon see ya guys later❤️.
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Thank you for your post, V.M. Looking forward to your next one.
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