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In the abyss, in the void of isolation I want to wander into the realm of the unknown. To have the chance to throw my arms up and disappear into the belly of the underground, allow those arms that have fallen before me to pull me down and sink me.
Break me down and drain me till I’m invisible, from the inside out. Wash my skeleton and hang me out to dry. This feeling of emptiness drowns me in the current state of my imagination, or lack there of.
I wish I could find the corner stone of the bluest skies, the steady beating of my heart, the smiles nestled in the corner of my cheeks. Instead rolling down my reflection are the shimmering of silver tears matted with confusion, with anger, with ignorance, with layers of insecurity.
The feeling of loss doesn’t even begin to encompass the act of cognitive dissonance. There are days which wear me thin, irritatingly lasting longer than I would like. I am left sitting uncomfortably with unexplained emotions, continuing to wrestle with my inability to process the simplest of actions.
My mind is taking a trip of rehabilitation away from happiness, away from sheer moments of hope and self realisation. I am left to contend with the black sheep of society.
The phantom of myself.
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