Deleting spaces to vent

I tend to vent on Twitter through symbolic poetry and it has a sort of a release for me, in a way I am sharing authentically yet not attached or needing anyone I actually know to provide any feedback…

I deleted my Twitter app and signed out of it on my iPhone safari web browser so that I do not mitigate my now situation and feeling in that way.

Instead I am turning to novni. Thank you for this anonymous yet very intimate authentic space to share my thoughts and feelings.

Back in 2018, I experienced heartbreak that I never imagined is possible, and I had no one to talk to… and I googled talk to someone or post anonymous posts, and I found novni.

I am surprised to stumble on novni again now. I have very similar heart pain and panicked emotions that I want to vent and express but not to anyone.. but also to everyone.

Perhaps it is human nature to connect in this way.. it’s interesting when I am most vulnerable and hurt and confused, I look around and I literally have no one to talk to openly and authentically.. I notice I am surrounded by people who say “I told you so” “how about ____ did you try this?” “When did you start feeling this way?”

When I have these panic attacks.. and feelings of intense crying.. I wish I had someone who wouldn’t say anything and just compassionately be in the moment with me. My boyfriend has a god complex and I do not feel safe and more annoyed and irritated by his god complex. My friends also are quick to give advice. And here is novni, providing an open space where I can freely and safely and anonymously share..

I am annoyed and irritated.

I am melancholy.

I need a fresh start.

I need a fresh start.

I deactivated my instagram.

I deactivated my facebook.

I needed to stop feeling like I’m behind.

I needed desperately to stop putting myself in boxes and trying to compare myself to others.

I want to feel my own energy.

I want to gain inspiration from in person real interactions.

There is too much noise.

There is too mouth loudness and desperation for validation that giants the expression, the pure expression of one’s self.

What happened to beautiful pure beautiful organic writings, dance performances, art?

All I see and feel now are the templates of why people post. I cannot not see it.

So no.

I refuse to scroll and feed my brain and being with those desperate to be validated. I want to be surrounded by those who are humble and know their worth. I want to be surrounded by those who are lively and purely lively. I want to be surrounded by those who are confident because they don’t have to be or have to appear to be. I want to be surrounded by those who don’t have to constantly sell me something. I want to be surrounded by those who are pure and loving. I want to be surrounded by those who are healthy.