I'm proud of you but I have to leave v.2

I'm planning to leave you alone. To never look in your direction, never speak a word to you, like you are dead to me. I'm doing this because it's not fair to myself anymore. The way I felt last night is not a way anyone should feel. I don't know what I did for you to think that I deserved this. I'm so happy you got into your dream school, you worked so hard. You have a great support team but I can't be in it. I can't just be your friend. Friends don't look at each other like that. I hope she gives you the world the way I was going to. I hope she shows you that you have beautiful heart, I hope you can trust her. I home that school is perfect for you. And I think that was the sign from God I needed. And i'm just one of those dumb teenage girls that think they met the love of their life in high school. But the connection I made with you, I have never made with someone else. And I probably won't, I don't trust others, I don't believe I'm the only one they could have. If you need me during this time, I guess look for me. You know where I'm at, but I just hope it makes you realize that I was always there. I hope it makes you see that you do have feelings for me , but I will have someone else. And fr if you can show that you have really changed then maybe. Or maybe one day you will see me and feel everything. the pain, the missing, the sorrow, the love, the crushing. And I will walk right past you and not feel a thing. yeah you are healed that great for you. me I still need time . I'm not sure how much but I'll take the time I need. I'm proud of you but I have to leave