Good riddance part III

Well, it’s been a few days since my last philippic against my dead uncle. Part II was supposed to be the last post on the subject, but I’ve since realised that there’s more to discuss. I didn’t know this at first, but this nasty motherfucker is getting a funeral and the conservative Christian members of my family expect me to attend it. I’m not going— I’ve seen to that— but I’m concerned for my mom because she has to go to it. Will people start hounding her about a decision that I made? There is this one woman. We’ll say her name is Karen because she is the living definition of Karen. When someone does something that goes against her values, Karen hounds them. She does not leave them alone. Karen wants everyone to know what she thinks and she wants everyone to be just like her. She’s probably going to be at the funeral being all sobs and black dresses and prayers and hounding my mom because I didn’t come. People are going to be wondering where I am. Nobody on this earth except for you, readers, and my mother know how much I hated that man and exactly why I’m not going to that funeral. Everyone else is going to expect me there. Well I don’t give a fuck what they think about me. I don’t care if they think I’m some kind of traitor to the family name. That ship sailed long ago when I took my mom’s maiden name.

To quote a song I adore: ‘I don’t care what they’re going to say. Let the storm rage on. The cold never bothered me anyway.’

My only concern now is what they’re going to say to my mom. Are they going to shame her for my decision not to go? Let them hate me all they want, but if they go after my mom, that will be my breaking point. I hope she doesn’t have to face their judgements, least of all Karen’s judgement.

I know I can’t go to that funeral because I’d have to lie my ass off the whole time. I’d have to pretend like I actually cared. It’s too obvious when I don’t give a shit about something. But I hope that my absence isn’t going to bring any pressure onto my mom. She has so much on her plate already. I love her.