What are you looking for?
1 year ago · · Relationships,
I just want to get this feeling off my chest and write it out.
Just recently a friend of mine told that she is considering about going serious with a guy she met through dating app, of course I am excited and happy for her! All of the friends are, and also I just recently attended 2 weddings, one of my friend and one is my relative. All these happy vibes and feelings makes me feel good and excited, wondering if i can experience that on my own too.
After a while, when i am alone, looking through social media, seeing many of my friends, colleagues, even influencers or celebrities getting married or started new relationships, and it got me feeling a kind of mixed feeling of happiness and sadness/loneliness. Especially I did met a guy and I thought he might be the guy, as we chatted so much and i really liked him but ended up he isn’t looking for a monogamous relationship, as I am, I did told him that I liked him and all, but we could not go further due to him living far away and also we are looking for different things.
It is kinda lonely when all you see is people getting into great relationships while you just wondering when will it happens to you. I know is fine being single, but I still wanted to have that small chance of having a partner to share something with, rely on, talk to, and felt loved in a more different way. Don’t get me wrong, i have great friends and family, but i never had a proper relationship before, so I don’t know how it feels and I really wanted that bit of taste, what’s it like, I understand that I can be single and happy too, I can, but I felt lonely once in a while and always thinking and wondering what it would feel like to be in a relationship, to be loved, to be spoiled.
I am also slowly trying to move on from that little heartbreak too, try not to think too hard and try to heal, give myself love and telling myself that I deserve love just maybe is not here yet. :)