What is the right choice?

Before we start, let me tell you something, I grew up in a loving and caring family. So my expectation from my husband's family was the same but not all families are alike just as no two people are alike.

Though my family is very reserved and almost everyone is introverted and prefers emotional bonding over constant reassurance in any relationship. Whatever action is taken is not to show in front of others but because they feel genuinely about it.

This did have a few downsides as well, being over protective, feeling pressured by emotions.

Whereas my husband's family shows good emotions when others are present but when just within the family almost everyone uses bad words. I had emotional strain for the few months when I lived there though I didn't face these bad words directly myself (maybe they thought of me as an outsider) but I have seen them doing it to others. This added fear in my mind that I cannot live here forever. My husband was abroad when I got my visa sorted. I went to him. I thought I may not have to face emotional strain anymore but apples don't fall far from trees. He is exactly like them, a big liar who believes his lie is the truth and if you correct him he goes berserk and starts cursing and belittling me. Result of this was that I stopped talking to him completely unless it was house related. Yes, ours was an arranged marriage.

While growing up, I was quite healthy as compared to my siblings. Even when I got married I hardly used to fall sick, maybe once a year catching a cold or something similar. Even my period pain was very bearable over years and didn't seem to bother me at all. On the other hand, my husband used to get sick very often. Almost every month he had a sore throat or severe headaches, back pains , neck pains over a very long period. Being raised in caring family, I wanted to look after him by being his side , giving him medicine on time, healthy easy to digest home cooked food, checking his fever, etc but on my first attempt he told me to get out of the 1 bedroom room and asked me to close the door and not come inside. He thought I was bothering him so he yelled at me. I did what he asked, left the room crying on the sofa and even fell asleep there so he doesn't get any discomfort. After that incident it became a habit if he is sick he stays by himself and I don't disturb him. Though it made me feel less connected to him emotionally, I assumed it might be his way to handle his sickness and I didn't want to feel bad for taking care of someone who doesn't need me.

All the different emotions kept piling up inside me that I need someone in my life I can take care of and feel emotionally bonded. I made a big gamble and decided to have a kid. He said he wasn't sure if he wanted to take responsibility for the kid but I begged him to let me have one. I need some emotional connection to keep living my life. He took pity on me and reluctantly agreed. During pregnancy he was no help at all but for the first 2 trimester I was still strong so I could do everything by myself but in the 3rd trimester I started losing weight instead of gaining. I knew I cannot do this by myself anymore and cannot rely on my husband as he does lack empathy. I decided to go back and live with my parents until I am back to my health to take care of the baby and myself. Long distance caused more problems in our marriage, don't know if it was hormones but I did lose all my rationale of thinking.

After 6 months, I came back with my husband and MIL. She tried to put things in mind by saying what if my husband / her son is having an affair with someone on multiple occasions. She was trying to make me suspect my husband and draw conflict between us. This made me feel that I cannot bear this emotional strain. I told my husband please send her back and the reason behind it.

After a few years I accidentally found out she was right, he is having an affair behind my back and lying to me for years. All the things mentioned above I assumed because he lacked empathy but I was wrong, it was because he never loved or even liked me. He had someone else in his heart and still has.

Should I continue as is or leave?

What should I choose?