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Time to bury my sex life
2 months ago · · Sex, · Explicit
I recently posted a writing called "Sex dresses in black". If you haven't read it, I would go read that first to better understand this. To sum that up, sex just wasn't the same as it was in the beginning of our relationship. A few days after I posted that writing we had probably the most incredible, passionate and just all in all wild sex. Out of nowhere he told me to go put on lingerie along with a few other things he wanted me to do. He then came into the room and started kissing me. All I could think was wow he hasn't kissed me like this in forever, not even when we were having sex would he kiss me like this. The sex that came after was orgasmic. We were both being pleased, both finished, and he even held me after we were done. I thought to myself after that this was it, things were going to be different. That it was going to be like the beginning with all that love and passion. It wasn't...the next day things were back to how they were. He would want head and so I would try to kiss him before to you know get things started and he would just say no and put a blanket over his face. So, I just shrugged it off...again, and give him head. He would touch me like well you know, while I was giving him head. So, after a while maybe 15 minutes I would go to get on top so kiss him and have sex. He would pull away from a kiss and say "no get off" then tell me to continue giving him head. He would want head until 1 he finished or 2 until he was just about to finish then he would have sex. Touching me not allowing me to finish or having a clitoral orgasm to then having sex not allowing me to finish or have a g-spot orgasm can be very annoying when it's happening EVERYTIME we have sex. A day or 2 after that happened, he did the same thing asked for head, didn't let me kiss him and put a blanket over his head. Again, I shrugged it off and gave him head for about 20 minutes. I stopped to grab some water and went to kiss him; he said no. This time he got up to have sex and as soon as I was about to finish, he pulled out and wanted head. Which went on until he finished. After he just got up, got on his video games with friends and that was it. I don't know what to do. I love him a lot and don't want to lose him, so I do what pleases him. He knows I want him to give me head and that I enjoy it, but I will never ask for it because he says he doesn't like it. I've come to just shutting up about sex in general because anytime I bring it up, he just gets upset. I just don't understand and have so many questions. Does he not like having sex with me? Why won't he kiss me? Why does he put a blanket over his face, does he not find me attractive anymore? Just so many damn questions that I'm scared to ask. I just want fiery, passionate, risky, intense sex with love. Instead, my sex life is dying. I feel like my role is to please him and that's all.