"best friends"

hey guys. i know i haven't talked to you guys in a long time, but i hope you aren't doing ok. why that is all i want to know. why did you do it. why didn't you stop them. why did you say those things. it hurt. it really did and i haven't forgotten about it. maybe you did, but me never. i tried. i ignored you, gave you the cold shoulder, blocked you on everything, but you yourself never went away and that was more then enough of a reminder. i hate that you had this kind of control over me even if you didn't know it. if i get to lost in my thoughts you always come to mind. and i hate it. you were my best friend, but not anymore. you made me hurt myself in ways i won't go into. did you know that? i avoid you and you run away from me. that's how it is and probably how it will always be. you never apologized by the way, but i don't want one i want a why. that is it. and i will always wonder why you choose to have those shity friends who talk shit about you behind your back over someone, me, who made you smile and comforted you after your dad died. the mutual hate will never die i guess. have a good life,

your former best friend