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Hewwo. For context, I am a student currently studying in an arts school specialising in performance and I always had low self esteem but I loved performing. Before entering arts school I was somewhat confident in my abilities and I knew I wanted to be a performer. However, I am now in my second year and from the beginning of my studies in arts school till now I have been in a slow decline. I love my class, they are amazing and everyone but I spiralled due to overthinking and imposter syndrome and eventually lost myself. Me seeing how good everyone was or rather is made me insecure about myself and it started affecting my work and my relationships with them trying not to make a fool outta myself and I forgot that failure was important and it was okay to not do well, i just had to learn and eventually i picked myself up with the people close to me. With renewed confidence I tried again and worked harder on myself but recently I tot I came to a point where I was capable enough to try audition or looking for gigs but I fall short or am not being even given a chance. I don't want to give up and I don't intend to. But just I feel empty atm, I have always been told you just need to try n try again but I feel lost. I don't know anymore
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Hey wow I hope you’re watching this post because I have a lot to say/ask about this. I’m also in the performing arts and mostly failing, or at least that’s how it feels. And like you said, once your confidence starts to slip that’s when you start to spiral bad.
You mentioned the first time how you were able to pick yourself up with the support of people close to you… Can you draw on their support again? What sort of things would they tell you or do for you? This is where I’m completely in the dark because I have no one close to me. I have “fans” who help with their positivity but that’s not the same as when it’s from someone who knows you. Confidence is a fragile thing especially with artists.
I’d love to hear more about what you’ve tried, what works, what doesn’t, etc. because I’m in the same situation and I feel like I should quit before I make a disaster of things :/ Sounds a bit like what you’re going through.
ReplyHewwo, I haven't been on here in a long time but I hope this finds you well. Honestly, I have been wavering a lot lately and it has been rough. Sometimes even with encouragement and support from others it does feel as if I can't really accept it? Because my inside negative voice overpowers them a lot of the time. I feel i can draw on their support but it only goes so far you know? I wish I can shut my brain off a lot of the time but trying just makes it worse and louder since I focus on it.
I understand not having a positive close connection to a person you know in real life can be suffocating as it is hard for people to listen or understand you but lately, something my acting teachers have been telling me to do is just to "Let Go" as simple as that sounds, but it is hard since all this negativity is all we have known for a long time. However if you do see this, I hear you and I feel you.
I think you can try journaling and catching your negative tots and close those loopholes and my partner has told me to try positive affirmations so do give it a shot. In the end I think a lot of our problems stem from a lack of enough self love or self worth in ourselves and instead of trying we should just be i guess.
ATB to your journey and I hope you are well. I am slightly doing better but its a tough long process so don't give up.
Hope you do see this, I would love to know how you are coping, And thanks for taking the time to read my post. Feels noice to be heard and "seen".
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