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I'm at the library and I cannot stand myself and its thoughts. They never stop even when the music is so loud. I'm not good at turning them off but it will take some time to become good at it. I won't give up but I must say that I'm tired. I'M TIRED AF. I'm exhausted at the words that constantly are going inside my head. It feels like a never ending stream of voices and sayings and mean and random words. some are loud others are like whispers and that can get so absolutely overwhelming. I don't wanna even go home. I'm just tired of living there. I love my nana and my mom and my little sister. But I'm tired of the constantly chatter and voices I hear that get extremely amplified there. I just want to go to home were there are no voices. No amount of music in my ears, palo santoing and sageing help. all the teas i drink don't help the voices either. I'm tired of the constantly voices. The library feels safe.
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Ear plugs. I wear them for music I hate, annoying machinery, and coworkers being annoying. Get you some high decibel earplugs.
ReplyVoices and unwanted thoughts just show up for no real reason. All thoughts (the good and the bad) need the energy you provide to persist. They get energy initially from your attention and when you add mental comments, a dramatic story, and some emotions, the thoughts become super charged with staying power.
Try this with your next unwanted thought which will probably show real soon. Expect the unwanted thought. Allow its arrival without reacting in any way. Just let it sit there (be there) in your mind until it is replaced with a different thought. Don't add labels, opinions, or any mental comments. Don't get emotional about it. Don't try to prevent the thought or resist it in any way. This is starving the thought of the energy it needs to persist.
When you have done this several times, let me know. I'll say more about how the mind functions and will try to address other concerns you may have.
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