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I never feel like enough for people. No one has ever or will ever love me. I'll be alone forever. I've grown content being alone, but sometimes I see other people with their friends and partners, and I feel this dreadful, empty feeling. I wish that I was important in someone's life. But no matter what I do, I'll just never be good enough.
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How do you know? Have you seen a fortune teller?
ReplyFamily members, friends, neighbors, and teachers began labeling us starting at an early age. This continues to this day and along the way we accept and adopt some of these descriptions – I am pretty, ugly, fat, skinny, not important, clumsy, athletic, smart, stupid, rude, sensitive, perceptive, naive, sad, serious, cautious, reckless, emotional, etc... We began seeing ourselves as this defined limited character (a separate self) and our thoughts and behaviors are consistent with this idea. Our ‘separate self’ character feels INCOMPLETE and imperfect and wants to get what is missing while getting rid of problem areas.
When the unwanted happens to us or the preferred does not and every time our effort to fix ourselves fail, we suffer. It comes in the form of agitation, irritation, boredom, disappointment, regret, jealousy, anxiety, depression, fear, LONELINESS, anger, grief, pain, or some other unwelcomed feeling or sensation.
Each of us are self-aware to an extent but when this knowledge is not clear, our true nature is hidden. A close look reveals that the most common element found in every one of my experiences is my presence – ‘I am there’. When I am sad, I am present there. When I am happy, I am present there. When I am scared, I am present there. When I feel I'm not enough, I am present there. When I am in love, I am present there. When I am angry, I am present there. I AM the always present AWARENESS that has no shape, size, age, race, gender, weaknesses, needs, or demands. As undefinable unlimited AWARENESS, I can’t be harmed and resist nothing.
The dance of creation is all of GOD’s creatures just experiencing each other and surrounding things. Animals do what they must and then enjoy their down time moments or sleep. After handling our obligations, instead of enjoying ourselves, we usually try to make our current situation different / better than it is. We attempt to acquire and secure preferred objects, circumstances, wealth, activities, and / or relationships expecting them to deliver lasting peace, love, and happiness. Any satisfaction that results from these efforts is only temporary. I finally realize that these coveted feelings are not earned, produced, provided, achieved, or possessed. Peace, love, and happiness have always been and will always be our essential nature. They shine through my being and energize my actions when I remember that I AM already enough.
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