This year

I'm a person who is so goal-oriented and everyday must be productive. By the way I'm 18 and is still a senior high school student. Last year, I chose the online learning which allows me to be more focused into my studies. My new classmates never bothers me and everything is according to my schedule and plans. I like this version of me, the introvert, lonely, and efficient. However, when face-to-face learning was being implemented for the new school year, I think I lost myself. I wanted to be alone and isolated from my peers to have more time and attention to what really matters. This year made me a new person. When school starts, I met new friends, they were so hype and adventurous, I've got to experience things that I never did before like going to a bar and travelling to other places which I would never do if it was me a year before. I'm a very conservative person and I do not know why I'm becoming like this. One thing that greatly affect me is that I have someone that I like, and we both have a mutual understanding. I think that because of the urge to meet and be together with him, I would agree to do things that I would not do. Although I like those memories, now that I have time to think and be alone again since it's Christmas break, I want to go back to what I am before I met them. I want to be alone again. I want to focus more into my studies. I don't want anymore distractions. I don't want to have more companies. I want to be by myself, since being engage to more people is so draining and I think that my lifespan and energy is being sucked out. I just want to center my life to my self alone and not with other people.