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Is it loneliness?
5 months ago · 3 · Stress, +11
I have refrained from writing my emotions from a long time. I have kept myself busy with my work and tried to not observe my emotions and being an empath. Lately I have started to feel lonely and talking to my therapist has also proven to be useless. He always tell me to just meditate and not to worry so much about things. But i don't think I can do that. I cannot just ignore life as it is just happening. I am unable to enjoy the small things in life.
I don't know how to enjoy life as it is. I stay in an empty 2 bed apartment, I try to keep myself busy but that is not happening. I try to hangout with friends but that is also kinda not happening as I wish to be.
I want someone to be affectionate towards me. Try to talk to me and listen to me ranting and cribbing but I guess that is too much to ask. Well I don't understand one thing. I asking someone to be affectionate towards me a bit too much to ask.
I want to be in a relationship with a girl. Someone who is affectionate, considerate, checks up on me, laughs with me and spends time with me.
A few days ago, I met a girl who was looking for a cab at airport and since there were no cabs available I offered her a ride to her place. I did not have any intentions and I thought I found a friend with whom I can do stuff. A few days into talking, I introduced her to my friend. Immediately she drifted and never even text me and started hanging out with that guy. I offered to help her in many occasions but she refused my help. The other guy does not have a car or any other resource to help himself or anyone. And still I am the one who loses her friednship. He is self centered and does not care abou any of his guy friends. He only cares about girls. I don't know why it bothers me.
LAtely I have started to feel so lonely and I want some physical touch. Even an hi-fi from someone makes me feel so much better. I am craving for some physical form of affection. Be it a friend or a girlfriend.
I have become so self consicous about myself. I feel I am a total loser, being fat and short, haven accomplished anything in life. I do not know to talk and have a displeasing appearance. I have no confidence in doing something. I want to get going and achieve something. Be it reducing weight or getting better at talking. I have bvecome a pessimistic and have no positive views in my life. I have so less confidence in something and I want to change myself. I keep comparing myself to someone else and always look for affection and caring from some girl and I feel that this will make me achieve something. Why have I turned this way and how can I come out of the girl hangover. Why do I feel that this is the ultimate thing to achieve and by doing this I can get anything in return.
I have told all these to my therapist and he tells it is just feeling and to meditate. Sometimes I feel I need a different therapist. My current therapist has over 30 years experience and yet I feel he does not understand me.
What is my problem and what sould I do?
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Your therapist sounds lazy or has forgotten his training as it was so long ago. Try a different therapist and see how that goes. If you stop caring about what people think of you the confidence you need will come to you. Take pen and paper and write down all of the good and positive things that you have in your life no matter how small. Stop taking things for granted and appreciate all that you are and have. Accept yourself with the way you are because you are special and God's child. Comparing yourself to others will only make you feel bad unless you think you are better. Look in the mirror every day and tell yourself that you are as good as everyone else and better than some. Read the list you wrote about all the good things in your life every day to remind you how lucky you are and how good you are. You are great so remember that. All the best.Reply
Not a therapist but what I realize is: I’ve got to be me. My wife complains of every picture when you “ zoom in”. I feel that you have to be comfortable with you. I do t Thu k pictures lie to us but we lie to ourselves. Get happy with you first, that should be your goal. If you love you then others will. I wish you wellReply
Keep working away at being happier. See friends, find new friends, do different things. Doing al this gives you more life experience, builds your confidence in talking with others and increases the likelihood of meeting someone you may form a connection with. Next time you meet a girl, don't introduce her to your other friends until you're actually dating her as that's a bit premature of you and left it open to what ended up happening. Why would you have introduced them at all given what you said of your friends traits?
In regards to yourself, loose weight and do what you can to build up your personality so people see what you have to offer them. It'll also build confidence and health. Look up fasting 16/8 as a food lifestyle and join some sort of physical exercise activity, gym, walking, running, a social group for casual exercise etc.Reply