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— but I can't hold the temptation to keep you smiling. I don't have the kind of life that will make you happy, I'm trapped in a circumstance that is hellish, and I don't want to drag you here with me; I want you to be satisfied and just live a not-too-abnormal life. You know you make the streetlights less empty and the moon less nihilistic, you make my perception crawls for beauty in anything and it feels heavenly. I want to fight for you and make sure you can reach Finland, maybe, that sounds like a perfectly reasonable thing for me to fight for; if only I could ever be given such a beautiful responsibility to do that. Because yk I never loved someone this strong. It's all contradicting but one thing that stays the same is love.
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