night time thoughts

Oh lovely. Like clock work everything is going just like it always does . Dads becoming verbally abusive already because he's getting drunk on his drugs. I mean he's had already double what im even prescribed or take in a day. So that's abuse of it. He never learns. Its insanity is what it is. Total insanity. He is already cussing mom trying to emotionally manipulate her. So my question is 1 of them: HOW DO YOU STILL DEFEND A MAN WHO TREATS YOU THAT WAY MOM!?!?!?? WTF!?

Today he came his mood was already b!tchy negative and altered. Miserable human being only making our lives hell. Is there a certain point he will receive it all back on him one day I often wonder. Im depressed already now. No family will even have me to even stay over night here. That's how sh!tty they are to me and hate me without cause. Ah they never had my back to begin with anyway and dad still kisses their ass. Its all pucker up kissy kissy their ass for dad including and especially his drug dealer he treats as like royalty. But me like trash🗑️🚮. Excuse me if his flesh and blood child is bothered by him treating them better. I just wanted a good relationship with him but its been really rocky the last number of years. His fault not mine im easy to get along with he is a mean jerk. If someone who my work place calls the nicest kindest person there can't get along with him there's something REALLY WRONG. he had a good relationship with his dad before he died. I can't help how mean he is forget it its hopeless unless he tries to change. I hate you too dad. Tells the dog he loves it yet not me. One day he will wish he was better to me if he's still sane. I don't know why my family is so bad to me. Especially mom and dad. Mom's tolerable dad is a rottweiler. He ruined the holidays too :( im fine though really im fine

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