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This might sound weird but sometimes and many times lately I have been feeling this emotion which I am not able to get it out of my mind and I am judging myself based upon that.
I have a good friends circle and here is what I have observed from a long time. Since 2020, I have not received any gifts, be it for my birthday or anything for that matter.
I moved to a new apartment and because I moved I invited a couple of friends over. They came, had food and went back. But that same friend group gave gift to another person who moved to a new apartment but did not even consider me.
I had my birthday which I was excited about. I told my close friend here that my birthday was coming up. About two weeks before my birthday, I indirectly asked him what his plans were and he told that his plans were nothing. I understood the he forgot my birthday and he actually did forget it. One of my other friend wished me and later I had to tell her that nobody else wished me. I was expecting a gift od some sort but that was too much to be expected. Even my mom did not gift me anything. I really felt very bad. I have decided not to celebrate my birthday anymore because, I have to spend money to give party o a bunch of people who don't even care about giving gift for that.
There is this another friend who spends crazy amount of money for random things and also gifts other people but when I asked her what will she gift me, her reply why should she gift me anything.
I am surrounded by so many people who gift others so many things but when it comes to me nobody gifts me anything. I have come to such a point in my life that if someone gifts me even a canday bar which is even worth nothing, I will start crying in front of them.
In my present situation what I see is that everyone is gifting everyone else something or the other for some or the other reason but nobody is even considering to gift me anything. Why am I being so pathetic?
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You're not pathetic. But you're also not being valued for the person you are ❤️ i am not a gift person, i don't care for gifts but if i noticed I was being treated so differently it would definitely upset me. You should ask your Mum why she wouldn't gift you anything on your birthday? My partner knows I'm horrible and don't like gifts so he gets me gifts of things we can do together instead, dinner, concert etc or practical small gifts. What I mean is that there's no excuse for you to be treated differently ❤️.
With friends, well tell them it upsets you or find new friends. Friendship is a 2 way street and you need to set the standards you expect. Don't have gatherings if nobody helps or next time you want to arrange something mention that you're not going to as nobody else chips in or that you organise everything etc. Or ask everyone to bring something to a gathering and see what happens. Through our life we'll discover that not all friendships are the greatest and not all are worth keeping forever as the only friends.
ReplyThe second paragraph you have written makes sense. It's better to make new friends or not to value them as friends. Just recently one of my other friend celebrated his birthday and yet again he was gifted so many things. I was standing there look at everything and feeling sad for myself. Doubting my existence and mostly thinking that I don't am something nobody likes to have around.
I guess it's better for me to go into me dream world and enjoy hypothetical paradise and sleep well.
Nobody cares for someone like me I believe.
ReplyNot true. There are people everywhere that can care about you, they just don't know you yet. I cared enough to reply and try and help. Doesn't that mean something if a stranger that has no connection to you and is anonymous wants to help you feel better? Sometimes shit is just unfair.
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