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First love. I thought he was, I sometimes still think he was. I was only 15 years old but we spent all that time together. Made all those memories together. We shared so many firsts together. I don't know if what I felt was love because its such an abstract concept. Love has so many definitions. He made me happy but also enraged me. He was flawed, but so was I. That doesn't mean I couldn't of loved him though? Right? Its a confusing thought and I don't know if I truly know that he was the first boy I felt true love for. My mother thinks he was. My father thinks he was. Some part of me will always remember him and how he made me feel. When I think about telling my future kids about teen romance and first loves, he is the first person that pops into my head. Could that be because of the memories, the shared experiences? Or was it love. I guess I'm just confused because of how my new love makes me feel. I've never felt so much love for somebody in my entire life. Im 17 now and confessed my feelings for my guy bestfriend that I've been infatuated by for months now. He is everything I have ever wanted in a boyfriend. This is what is making me question my "first love." Is this new love what real love is. Since my "first love" has never given me so much happiness and gratitude does that mean it wasn't what I thought it was? Im less so conflicted, more so curious how love works. What defines it. How do I know when I feel it and when Its not true. I don't know what prompted me to get on some random site off of my school computer at 5:29 on a school night but I'd rather do this than my schoolwork.
Thank you to the two boys who've showed me appreciation and given me these thoughts in which I can elaborate on.
-anon
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Oh honey, you will never forget your first love. You will know when you met the right person and you have so much more life to live and you will learn how to navigate those feelings through all the different relationships you enter in your life. Love is different for everyone and you will know when you love someone. Don’t dwell on whose love was real or not, we are capable of loving multiple people in our lifetime and they are all different types of love. Enjoy life and the beautiful experiences of love and heart break. And awesome for confessing your feelings, i always say it’s better to speak up and be rejected than staying in silent and never knowing what could have been!
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