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So I have a huge crush on my science teacher right now and i no its so wrong but I can't get her out of my mind. On the first day of my eighth grade year, my science teacher Ms.W (not saying the full last name) was telling us everything we needed for her class and I just couldn't take my eyes off of her. I thought she was absolutely gorgeous. A lit if the kids said that she looked old and crooked or that she was an off brand queen Elsa. But I have like older women for a while now so a few wrinkles don't scare me. But Ms.W had like a sort of geeky nerdy voice and I just think that it is so amazing. She has platinum blonde hair and blonde eyebrows that you can barely see(I've got a thing for blonde eyebrows and I know it's weird.) And blue eyes and glasses and extremely pale skin. Her iris shakessometimes and I just think that she's such a unique human being. People talk crap about her all that time and we're talking about her her eye twitch was annoying as if she has any control over it. But the first week of school I couldn't take my eyes off of her and my friend started to notice because apparently I was smiling while listening to her teach. Most of my friends know and I'm thankful that they don't make fun of me for it other than a few small jokes. I am so dramatic for this but I am a huge Lady gaga fan so whenever a slow ish or a song about love came on like Paparrazi or Bad Romance would come on I would start to cry thinking of Ms.W because I knew I could never ACTUALLY be with her. One day she wore a green sweater and some jeans. But the best part of the outfit was the boots. They were brown ankle boots with a bit of a heel and they made her taller than me and I'm a sucker for women who are taller than me so I was gagging when I saw this. As I walked down the hall my eyes were wide open just staring at her. When her class came I built up the confidence to tell her that she looked pretty today. a few days later there was a new girl and she sat beside me and the girl needed the notes so Ms.W said that my notes were written well and my heart couldn't handle it. So I was being funny and said"GASP* you think my notes are good?!?". And SHE TOUCHED MY SHOULDER. I swear I could've cried right there. My stomach was filled with butterflies. A few weeks later she walked into my class while I was waiting for the school to release car riders. I could tell something was up with Ms.W but I didn't want to be a burden so I didn't say anything but when I walked past her class I could see her face being super red and as a fellow pale person I know our faces get red when we're upset. So I was so worried for Ms.W and I emailed her asking if she was okay cause I didn't have time to ask her when I saw her being upset. I almost cried I was so worried. I said she was my favorite teacher in the email. Her reply made me so happy. She had missed her sons appointment and she was just stressed. I still have yet to delete that email to this day. I've started bring her chocolate and her reaction is so cute. She's always so surprised and appreciates the little things. She is just a fun person to talk to in general and I can never find myself bored when talking with her. She is so sweet and I really hate myself for feeling this way. My friends told this girl about my crush and the girl said it is weird and disgusting but we are still friends somehow and she doesn't mention it much. But those words did hurt a little. I know that my crush is terrible and that I should be crushing on people my own age but what am I supposed to do? Just stop feeling nervous when talking to her? Just stop turning red and feeling embarrassed when my friends poke fun at me about her? Just magically stop thinking that she's absolutely gorgeous?! It doesn't freaking work like that and believe me, I would stop feeling these things if I could. I never thought I'd be a jealous type of girl but when my friends get high fives or hugs from Ms.W I just feel so angry and I just want to smash my head against the wall. I asked for a hug for christmas from her before winter break and that hug was the best hug I'd ever had. The best day if ever had aswell. It was a tight hug and it kinda hurt too. I still remember the small pain I felt in on the right side of my chest as she hugged me tightly. Ms.W talks about an administrator at my school all the time and I can't help but feel so jealous of him. She talks to him all the time. And once she asked ME to go give him chocolate cake. I hate that man so much and I so wish I were him. What makes this worse is that Ms.W is obviously straight and I'm a girl so that sucks. I cherish every applause she gives me and I feel like I make my crush SO obvious. I look at her a lot at lunch time and my days are always sad when she takes the day off. She really makes me happy and she makes me try to be a good student and for once in about 5 years, my grades are actually good and I have her to thank for that. She makes me want to work hard to show her that I am smart. I want her to be proud of me. I do know my boundaries and am respectful towards her. I act like an angel towards her. She knows me better than my own mother does. I hate when other kids tak badly about her. She truly has done nothing wrong. The kids are just mad that she told them to stop doing something that they know they weren't supposed to be doing. I don't know what I am going to do when the school year ends. I'll never see her again probably and I already hate the weekend now cause I dont get to see her everyday. I think of her 24/7 and I hate myself for it because I know it's wrong. Tell me what you have to say about this and if you are a teacher, what would you think of this?
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Honestly? I think that's perfectly fine! You don't seem like a creep and Ms. W does seem like a pretty nice and responsible teacher. Keep up the gift-giving so you could show her how much you care. It sounds like a really happy and wholesome crush, so why not? Anyways, you're not hurting anybody around you by having a crush, so if somebody criticizes you or is being harsh/rude to you about it, don't take it to heart! It's very normal to have crushes, just don't like, turn them into this obsession where you wanna stalk them or something, lol. but yeah this seems like a wholesome crush thing so i don't really see a problem with it- you seem aware of how unusual this situation is, and you understand why, plus you sound polite to her and you did mention you know your boundaries so that's good! what more is that you use her as an inspiration to study more, and you are considerate of her feelings, too-
aaaanyways long story short i don't really mind this- having a crush is completely okay! just keep on knowing your boundaries and where you stand, and hopefully you two could still keep in touch even after the school year ends- who knows? maybe once some time has passed, you guys could reminisce about this :D
wishing you the best !!
Replyaww you should feel okay about this :)) i’m your same age and i think this is cute!! good luck because you never know what could happen 🫶
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