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My life is like a seesaw but feels like I've been at the bottom for too long. My friend said it is me and my willpower which can change everything but I don't believe it. My body is not responding to things. It does not know what willpower is. Do I have any power? I just want to sleep and never wake up because everyday reminds me of the failure I am. I thought that I was pretending to be fine but it does not feel like pretend anymore and that drowns me in the guilt. I feel guilty to eat, laugh, walk, sleep, talk, to exist. I wonder if there actually exists the other end of seesaw, maybe that is why I'm stuck here while everybody moves on.
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Instead of telling yourself that you are a failure look in the mirror every day and tell yourself over and over that you are a winner and when you feel that you are a winner go out and be one.
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