Why am I so stupid

I am so stupid.I have been looking for a project from many days and one of my colleague is in same situation as me. and someone messaged me as they have a opening but they didn't messaged my colleague so I asked my colleague to message him by giving his id and what should she type I said everything to her hoping should would also be selected along with me. I just thought it's good if both of us get the role.But at last she got the role and I didn't because it created a good impression to interviewer since she is the one asking for opportunity.Now I am left alone looking for other opportunities.i am so depressed right now.If I just shut my mouth that day without helping her that role would have been mine. I am searching for a role so desperately from past two months.i don't know anymore.i just wanted for both of us to get the role and stop worrying.i don't know my stupid helping nature would make me get ditched in this situation.i am so afraid I will lose my job if I don't get a project as soon as possible. I have loans to pay.I hate my life.Why should it be this way.