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A few days back i read grown ups' thoughts on how they wonder what happened to the kid in them. I am not 'grown up' though i will be technically in a few months. I don't think about my younger self but i am afraid of growing up. I am afraid that i will become a person who has lost all the thoughts and that perspective to see everything which are said to be a kid's view, because I have already started to walk on that path.
The simplest example of this can be of how i used to and how i am now just walking around. I have started to keep my head down and walk whereas I used to look up at the sky. I don't know how it sounds but i loved to just watch the sky, the birds, the trees, I still do but only when I am alone. I love to walk in the rain, i still do. When we, my family, were even younger we all used to run around and play in the rain but now its just me walking around while they all just see me from afar. When it starts raining my parents look at me smiling because they know i am about to ask to go out. I start smiling too.
I am scared of losing this warmth and forgetting this view.
I think this might be too far, but you know when I hear about grown ups leaving their parents in old age homes, I get scared. When all of them were kids none of them would have thought about doing this to their parents, but here they are now.
I don't like the way of spending daily life waking up, going to work,coming home, sleeping and repeating but i am afraid when i grow up i'll just be like every other grown up.
I know people can't just do whatever they want and how everyone has responsibilities but I don't want to lose my mentality of a 'kid' even when i am at my worst in the future.
I am aware that i think too much, but it is the way i am.
And really am scared of growing up.
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These are great thoughts and valid fears. But I think you're ahead of the game because you are aware of the changes that might happen. You can force yourself to stay young, by doing little things like remembering to look up at the sky, enjoying music & tv shows & movies that are "childish", and above all, never accepting the adult routine (wake up/work/sleep/wake up/etc). I think it's all conditioning.
I'm in my late 20s and I still love to roll around on the ground with my dog, I run up stairs taking 2 or 3 steps at a time, other things that don't seem very adult, but it's my way of keeping the kid in me alive. I think you can do the same. Start by looking up at the sky today, you'll see how quickly it all comes back :)
ReplyI’ll make sure to look up and remember your words. It is great talking like this. I hope you and your dog keep playing like you do now.
Also I’ll make sure to have a dog at home. Rub his/her head for me. I have a few stray dogs who love it. I love when they sit with their head on my lap. I wish to have my future dog sleep in my lap.
Thank you and have a great journey ahead.
ReplyI used to work in a nursing home and it was alright. I don't mind going into one. There comes a time in life where we let go of childish things and become adults. There is nothing scary about it. If you grew up and thought and behaved like a child you would be retarded. Would you like that?
ReplyIt’s great if that nursing home was alright. I meant when the parents indirectly or directly forced there. The kids won’t talk to them. I go for walk with my grandfather almost daily and whenever we meet someone their age, first thing those people mention is how lucky my grandfather is. They long for their children to be with them.
I don’t think you understood what I was trying to say. But yes I would love to behave like a child.
Thank you
ReplyYou are a beautiful soul and I don't think you will ever lose that.
I'm 36 now and my inner child has quieted down over the last year. It's not so much losing it because the quieting feels pleasant and natural. I've found a stillness in me that wants to focus on different things. There's been a shift in what brings me joy. I'm an ecologist so I find daily joy in learning how things work together. I love harmony and feel comforted and whole when things in life work together, whether it be planning, budgeting my money, organizing a vacation, training animals, or finding the right decoration for my home. The quiet inner child shift that I've experienced has been an emphasis on reconnecting with family and nurturing friendships. I find myself seeking out good people. I hug longer, compliment strangers, and keep the small talk going when a stranger speaks to me. It used to annoy and bore me when my grandpa would talk to everyone on the street but now I understand how enchanting it is to make those connections. Anyway, my point is is that you won't lose that inner child. The joy you seek out will take the form of various situations throughout your life and you'll find comfort in growing up into a lovely, balanced, and cheerful human.
ReplyThank you for sharing these words. I believe you are a great person. How you mentioned that now too you find joy in things but those ‘things’ have been changed I think I might not find joy in all those ‘childish’ things but I wish that I will be able to find some things which I can stick along to.
I too find the talking to strangers or those who I don’t completely know strange and try to avoid talking at all but I have had conversations with my father and he told me how much those talks and interactions matter. I won’t be able to talk to people immediately but I will make sure to value everyone.
I wish you to stay the cheerful person you are now or even better.
Thank you again.
Reply